7 years ago-April 21, 2006

April 21, 2006, my momma went to heaven. She passed away from a massive stroke, she had just turned 73 on March 6th. If she were alive, she would now be 80. I remember that day, as if it happened yesterday. She was living here with me and Eddie. It was a Friday, that I will never forget. I went in her bedroom, a little after lunchtime, to check on her. When she did not respond to me, I started saying to her, come on momma, I know you hear me. Do you think you can ignore me, and get away with it? Ha, no way!! I went over to the bed, and kissed her on the cheek, she was already getting cold. I went into her bathroom, and got a warm washrag. I went back to her bed, and started wiping her face with the warm rag, momma never liked being cold. I kept trying to get her to wake up. Finally, I laid my head over on her chest, there was nothing but silence, deadly silence. At that point, I went numb, my heart shattered into a million pieces. I ran from her bedroom, screaming all the way to my bedroom, at the other end of our apartment. I was screaming, no, no, no!! When I got to my bedroom, I stood there, not knowing what to do. All I wanted was my momma. When I calmed down a little, I called Eddie at work, have no idea what I said. Then, I had to call the caseworker from hospice. Again, have no idea what I said. I unlocked the front door, so they would be able to get in. Then, I went back to momma's bedroom. I said, momma I'm back. I crawled up in her bed , got a blanket, covered us up. Put my arms around her, snuggled up close to her, and said, it is ok momma, I will warm you up. Then, the dam busted, I began to cry like a newborn baby, loud, continuous sobbing. That is how Eddie, and the caseworker found me. They tried everything to get me to get out of the bed with her, but I refused to leave. I stayed there, until the people from the funeral home came to get her. Then, as the hearse pulled away from our apartment, I ran after it, calling for momma. Believe me when I say, what does not kill us, makes us stronger. We still live here in the apartment where it happened, due to financial reasons. I still call it momma's room. This day is always hard, the memories come flooding back. But, God gives me peace. I know she is in a much better place, and look forward to a blessed reunion one day. I love you momma, and miss you with every heartbeat.