Thursday, January 28, 2016
My entire life has been filled with doubt, no self worth at all. I have filled my heart, and mind ,with thoughts such as: you are ugly, you are fat, you are stupid, you are worthless. Why?? My parents did not want me, I was actually an attempted abortion. But, that was not my fault. I was just an innocent baby, I did not ask to be born. That was their junk, their baggage to deal with, not mine. My parents got divorced when I was 11, I blamed myself. But, it was not my fault, they had issues, the issues had nothing to do with me. My step-monster sexually abused me when I was a teenager. I blamed myself. Why, it was not my fault. It was his fault, he chose to be an evil person. I tried for 16 years to conceive a baby, but I was not able to become pregnant , due to health issues. Infertility, is not my fault. I have had a stroke, and a heart attack. I have very bad type 1 diabetes. But, that is not my fault. We all have our burdens to bear in life. All of these things, have caused me to doubt myself as a daughter, wife, over all human being. Well, I have decided to quit doubting myself. Instead, with, and by, the grace of God, I am going to daily overcome ugly belittling thoughts.