Tuesday, February 18, 2014

Color me blue

 Trying not to be blue, I really am.But, I am not perfect, and I am only human. My husband wounds my heart so badly. I could choose to be red, the color of raging anger. But, I do not want to be angry at the love of my life. His words cut my heart like a very sharp knife. I bleed on the inside, where nobody sees, there are countless scars. Since my stroke, things have changed so much. I wish I had never had the stroke, but, evidently it was part of God's plan for my life. I accept that, I am not upset, or mad at God. But, I hurt, in everyway. Thank You God, for carrying me through everyday. I may be down, but with God, I am always lifted up.

10 comments:

Joyful said...

Sorry you are hurting, dear heart. Thank God he is always there...24/7.

The Queen of Brussels Sprouts said...

Sometimes it is so hard not to dwell on what the strokes took from our lives.

LeAnn said...

You sweet one; I am sorry you are having a difficult time. Perhaps it is the financial struggle with the car that has caused some anger. God does have a plan for you and also for Eddie; maybe some of the things that are going on with you are for his growth also. He just hasn't found that out yet.
Prayers, blessings and hugs for you!

Wanda's Wings said...

Sometimes you just want to scream, WHY????? You are such a beautiful person. Hold fast dear one. ((((((hugs))))))

rcubes said...

Sometimes I come...without leaving a comment. But rather a prayer. I told my husband few minutes ago..."Pray... it's your best weapon than that gun..." as he was leaving for work, to get criminals before the sun appears. I pray.... not just for my own family but my family in Christ like you. Because I hurt with you when you're hurt. Storms in our journeys drive us to prayers. And I will never forget to pray for us knowing they are shadows of His mercies and blessings. Take good care of yourself. May your heart's wounds be soothed by His love. And may His love reaches out to bro. Eddie's heart and calm the storm in him. Love to you sister.

Great-Granny Grandma said...

You are such an awesome witness, I'm sure there will be many stars in your crown. I'm so sorry, though, to hear about what you are going through. It must be especially painful when the one dearest to you and who should be there for you during this difficult time is the one causing such wounds. My heart goes out to you and I am lifting you and Eddie up in prayer. Praying that the Lord would comfort you and love on you, and that He would also soften Eddie's heart and fill it with mercy, patience, and the love he had at the very beginning of your relationship. (((HUGS))) ♥

Never Forsaken said...

I am praying for you, and appreciate your honest feelings...It is good that you chose blue instead of red...That is how I try to handle things too.
Love you, my sister~

Chatty Crone said...

I thought things had gotten better. I'm sorry. Prayers. sandie

Lisa in Texas = ) said...

Continuing to pray for you dear sweet lady. Lisa :O)

Celestina Marie Design said...

Saying prayers for you and God to hold you up through all your needs. Hope the car issues are fixed soon.
Stay strong!!
Blessings to you.
Hugs