October/November Baby

How many of you have heard of the movie October Baby? How many of you have seen this movie? Well, if you have not seen it yet, I highly recommend it. I watched it the other night on channel gmc, which is channel 172 0n my television. A Christian channel, one of my favorite channels. The movie brought up many emotions inside of me. The girl in the movie is searching for her birth mother, after finding out that she was an attempted abortion, and was adopted. She has had to deal with various health problems since birth, which she finds out is due to the attempted abortion. Also, she has never felt good about herself, always very negative, no self worth. After finding out the details of her birth, she begins to feel anger, and alot of guilt. She was a twin, she had a brother, but he died at six days old. She wonders what kind of life he would have had, and thinks she should have been the one to die. When she finally finds her mother, her mother does not acknowledge her, she is married and has a little girl. At the end of the movie, she leaves a note on her mothers desk at work, the note said, "I forgive you." Wow, pass the Kleenex, so touching. I was an attempted abortion, my parents already had three kids, and financially could not afford another one. When my mom told my dad she was pregnant with me, he was furious. He told her to get rid of me. Abortions were illegal at the time, so she went to see her doctor. He gave her some type of pills, told her how to take them, and that they would make her abort me. She went home, started taking them like he said, but they were not working fast enough. So, my mom took the whole bottle of pills, praise God they did not kill her. But, she started bleeding very heavily, and thought she had passed me. Several months later, she felt kicking, she could not believe it. I was alive. I was born on November 20th, 1963. Isn't God amazing?? I have never had any self-esteem, always felt guilty, and unwanted. Through the years, I have dealt with many health problems, that I was told were caused by those pills. I was born with a birth defect, my appendix is in the back. I tried for 16 years to have a baby, was not able to because of female problems caused by those pills. Am I angry at my parents? No. My mom passed away in April of 2006, she was 73. She moved in with me, and for the last three years of her life, I took care of her. Praise God, I had the honor of leading her to the Lord, before she passed away. I had already forgiven her for trying to abort me, and for kicking me out, when I told her that my stepfather had sexually abused me. My dad is still alive, and lives here in Tennessee. He is 77. He never wanted anything to do with me, until my oldest brother passed away in 2008. He gave his heart to the Lord, and is now in my life, when he chooses to be. I wish him nothing but the best. So, I share alot in common with October baby, except, I am November baby.