Sunday, July 22, 2012
He Will Carry Me
I have been in a very bad place recently, feeling so down. My health is really going downhill, but I am clinging tightly to the precious garment of Jesus. I feel so alone, but, I know Jesus never leaves me. Lovebug seems so cold, and distant. I wonder if he sees me anymore? The real me, the old Denise, before the stroke. Sometimes, I feel like screaming out to the world, "I had a stroke, but, I am still here. I did not die, I survived. I might be different in some ways, but I am still me. Denise is here, she never left. Her heart still beats, feels, and loves the same. Oh, and by the way, her heart still hurts too." This week, Jesus sent two angels along my path. On Thursday, we were at Walmart. This lovely black lady came up to me, she said, excuse me, but, I just wanted to tell you, that I think you have a beautiful head. I said, thank you so much. I think you are beautiful, your beauty shines from within. I said, please do not think I am a cancer patient, and I told her how I lost my hair. She said, it does not matter to me, you are beautiful, and we are sisters. I started crying, and we hugged. I needed that encouragement so much. Last night, I had taken coco out for a walk. One of our neighbors, that I had never met before, came outside. She started petting, and playing with coco. Of course, coco loved the attention. lol Well, we began talking, and eventually, I told her about having a stroke last year. She was so compassionate to me. She said, to have had a stroke, and been through all you have, you look great. I hugged her, and told her thanks. I said, you will never know how much I needed to hear those words. She said, she was happy to have met me, and she would remember me in her prayers. Woo Hoo, praise Jesus. I love this song, the words really speak to my heart. They express how I feel.