On Your Heart Tuesdays

Today, I am linking up with http://www.shandaoakleyinspires.com/p/on-your-heart-tuesdays.html    What has been laying very heavy, on my heart recently? My stroke!! As quite a few of you know, I had a stroke on Labor Day 2011.  It will be six months since my stroke, on March 5th.  I continue to recover, my balance is getting better, and my speech is not quite as bad. My head hurts alot, which I think is due to my continued brain swelling. My heart has truly been aching recently, I wondered why. But, then, I realized why it was aching. I have been in deep mourning, over the loss of me, yes, me. The moment I had my stroke, I ceased being me. I became someone who laid in intensive care for 11 days, fighting for their life. Then, I was someone, who was in a rehab hospital for 11 days, learning to walk again. Then, I was someone, who had to come home, and totally adjust to a new life.  A 47 year old woman, who now felt muchhhhhhhhh older. I truly felt, as if I had disappeared, and someone else, had taken over my body.  What is going on here? Who is this person, staring back at me in the mirror? I was a bag of mixed emotions, ranging from sadness, confusion, frustration, fear, and anger. But, with God's help, I have overcome this season of my life. I have rediscovered myself.  I am still me, just a little weary around the edges, but, still me. God saved my life, and continues to watch over me. I am still His, that has not changed, praise God. I am so blessed to still be here, and, to still be me!! No stroke is going to defeat me, God and I, battled through, and won, woo hoo.