Tuesday, February 21, 2012

On Your Heart Tuesdays

Today, I am linking up with http://www.shandaoakleyinspires.com/p/on-your-heart-tuesdays.html    What has been laying very heavy, on my heart recently? My stroke!! As quite a few of you know, I had a stroke on Labor Day 2011.  It will be six months since my stroke, on March 5th.  I continue to recover, my balance is getting better, and my speech is not quite as bad. My head hurts alot, which I think is due to my continued brain swelling. My heart has truly been aching recently, I wondered why. But, then, I realized why it was aching. I have been in deep mourning, over the loss of me, yes, me. The moment I had my stroke, I ceased being me. I became someone who laid in intensive care for 11 days, fighting for their life. Then, I was someone, who was in a rehab hospital for 11 days, learning to walk again. Then, I was someone, who had to come home, and totally adjust to a new life.  A 47 year old woman, who now felt muchhhhhhhhh older. I truly felt, as if I had disappeared, and someone else, had taken over my body.  What is going on here? Who is this person, staring back at me in the mirror? I was a bag of mixed emotions, ranging from sadness, confusion, frustration, fear, and anger. But, with God's help, I have overcome this season of my life. I have rediscovered myself.  I am still me, just a little weary around the edges, but, still me. God saved my life, and continues to watch over me. I am still His, that has not changed, praise God. I am so blessed to still be here, and, to still be me!! No stroke is going to defeat me, God and I, battled through, and won, woo hoo.

19 comments:

HopeUnbroken said...

i have only dealt with chronic pain, not a stroke, but so much of what you expressed totally resonated with me in this post!
thanks for your honest sharing. and God is so faithful, isn't He? He continues to show grace as He reveals Himself more and more clearly to us.
praying for you this day,
steph

Leovi said...

I hope you recover fully from your physical problems. Greetings.

HOOTIN ANNI said...

I swear my dear...you never "Lost" yourself...all the time it took to recover, you didn't win either [in terms I recognize that is]---you used that time to be reborn!!!

rcubes said...

With the strength that you keep on showing that encourages us in return, I knew it wasn't easy and that only by God's grace, anything you can overcome because you love Him. Praying sis for your continued healing, His comfort and strength and protection to cover you. Love in Christ.

Wanda's Wings said...

Way to keep the faith.

Debbie Crawford said...

Yes. God is good. Thanks for visiting me.

LivingforGod said...

Denise, you're so special and precious in God's eyes and mine! Nothing can rob you from being you, my sweet sister in Christ.

Love, prayers, & hugs,
Urailak

Peggy said...

Blessings Denise,

Such a beautiful expression of your heart and the trials that you have faced and overcome!

Even though your heart (and sweet head) was aching, it always praises, thanks and loves God in your sweet expressions. You are not older just better. And the sweet YOU is still there.

This was such a truthful post! Thank you for keeping it REAL!
But I'm mostly thankful that you are an OVERCOMER and that God is with you to take you through this
difficult time! You definitely are not letting this stroke defeat you.

WOO HOO! Is right!!!!!!!

Now you take good care of yourself, get your diabetes' levels under control, be wise and keep ahead of this...may God open up all blockage in that artery to your brain swelling, less pain and bring more healing each day!!!

You are such a blessing and a great light of Jesus to me! I'm so gald that you enjoyed a great weekend and visit with Marsha!!!
May God strengthen you and hear all the major prayer requests for others that you shared at LOP! Standing with you for your sis and the others. Thank you for praying at the Lighthouse of Prayer and keeping it going! I love you!!! and I know God does too...so much!

Love and hugs... thanks for sharing what's on your heart,
Peggy

Shanda said...

I am so sorry about your stroke. I pray that God will continue to help you recover and to get stronger. I pray patience and grace over your life as well.

kd sullivan said...

Oh, dearest you may not be living the life you once lived, but you never ceased being wonderful God-created you! You are beautiful. I'll be praying for your continued healing...

From the Heart said...

What a beautiful post. Whoo hoo is right. You are doing great.
I agree in prayer with you for your loved ones.

Tigertamer said...

Denise
Praying for your recovery. I am thankful for my health....I have however had 2 back surgeries and shattered my ankle (I am very accidental prone) Keeping you in my prayers

Thank you for stopping by

Blessings
Gina

Melanie said...

You're such an inspiration to so many people, Denise. I will be praying that God will heal you more day by day.

Cathy said...

Bless your dear, sweet heart. Thank you for sharing with us how you feel. Thank God He is strengthening you, healing you. You are the same sweet, dear Denise. You encourage so many. Love and Hugs ~

Godsgalnj said...

I'm glad you're you! :) *hugs*

Rachel Wojnarowski said...

Blessings to you!! What a precious story you are for Christ.

momto8 said...

this is a beautiful testament to faith!! yes, God did save you!!!
I am your newest follower..pls follow back if you can.

elaine @ peace for the journey said...

Denise...

All disease is costly. We must give ourselves permission to grieve our losses. It's part of the healing process. Just today, I was looking at a Land's End Catalog (the swimsuit one) and thinking to myself that I couldn't wear any of these suits... none of them come with implants! I picked at that wound for a while, and allowed myself some tears.

I don't think there's any going back to my old self again. So much has changed for me. Through it all, God has kept hope alive in my heart for something better.

Just know that you are not alone in this walk of grief. I get it. I really do.

Love you.

~elaine

LeeAnne, Style N Season said...

I admire your strength and bravery. A family friend who survived cancer said that what had saved her was love, from her family, and from God. :)

Visit me:
LeeAnne, Style N Season
http://stylenseason.blogspot.com