Monday, July 12, 2010

Marriage Monday-Tips For Caring For Aging Parents

This is definitely a subject very close to my heart. As most of you know, my dear momma passed away in 2006. She lived with me and my dear husband for almost four years. She became very ill at the end of 2004, and things went down hill from there, God bless her. She was in a constant battle for her life, our life's were filled with many trips to her various doctors, and to the emergency room. She spent much of her time in the hospital, yet she never complained. She smiled through all of the pain, and believe me, there was much pain. She suffered from kidney failure, blockages in her stomach, heart problems, dementia, and grand Mal seizures. Taking care of my momma brought my husband and I even closer. He loved her as much as I did, and she considered him a son. They were also dear friends. I watched them laugh together, and cry together. I listened as he expressed his love for her, and she expressed hers for him. I watched, as my husband picked my momma up, and carried her in his arms, out of our apartment, all the way out to the parking lot, and placed her gently in our car, because she was much to weak to walk. She then looked up at him lovingly, rubbed his face, and said,"Thanks good looking, no one has ever swept me off my feet before. I will never forget you." I do not know what I would have done without my husband during the last months, weeks, and days of my mommas life. When she passed away on April 21, 2006, it left a very lonely place in our life's, and an empty spot in our hearts. I went to a very dark place for awhile, but thanks to the love of my Father, and my husband, I survived, and came back into the Light. As for tips for caring for your aging parents, the best advice I can give you, love them, love them, love them. Embrace every moment you have with them, spend time making memories, be gentle with their hearts because believe me when I say, time goes quickly. We love you, and miss you more each day momma. Thanks for the privilege of taking care of you.

22 comments:

Beth said...

I now know where you get your sweet spirit from. Your mama sounds like a great person. I know you miss her so much. My mama can rub me the wrong way at times, but I would be lost without. I love you.

MiPa said...

Beautiful post Denise. Bless you and ((hugs)).

godsown said...

Precious memories and what an testimony of The LOVE of the Father shed between all of you and carry you on this journey together.

Blessings on your day!
bernice

Rebecca said...

This is such a precious post. Three of our parents are still living - not so near us, but always on our minds. Your words are full of love and good reminders.

Cranberry Morning said...

That is a lovely post. As one who has an aging father, I think that honoring our parents and showing them respect is so important. I love what you said about your mom telling your husband that she'd never been swept off her feet before. How cute! My dad also still has a great sense of humor. People need to remember, as their parents age, that the time will come when they're no longer with us. And when that happens, we will NEVER regret the time we spent with them. We will only regret it if we don't spend time with them, just enjoying their company and making their lives happier.

Lisa said...

Great words of advice Denise, I can really relate. The roles really reverse when your parents age, its almost as if they become the child and us the parent. Thank the Lord for His strength and His promise of Heaven and His teachings about honoring your parents...it is all good because one day we will be in Heaven for an eternity and that is the thing I dwell on most often.

Andrea said...

Hope you have an awesome day. Please pray for my little macy, today if you get a chance.
hugs,
andrea

MyJourneyBack said...

Beautiful post. God is so funny. You have to go over and read what I wrote today. BTW I love your new look. It is perfect and fits you. Don't change it. But I have to laugh because you are like me. They don't last long. I am already getting the itch to change mine. I was thinking of writing a post about that.
Have a Beautiful Day,
Sherry

tonya said...

I am so sorry for your loss, Denise.
Hugs to you.

Mac an Rothaich said...

Beautiful... the relationship with your man and you, you and your mom and your man and you mom... I teared up. I love how you thanked her for her letting you care for her. It makes me sad when my folks talk about not wanting to burden us. Thanks for sharing!

Paige said...

It's inspiring that your mom was such a trooper throughout her life. It must have been overwhelming at some points though. If you are taking care of aging parents and the burden of helping them and running your own life is getting progressively harder consider www.cooperativehomecare.com. They offer people to help run errands for just a few hours a week to people ready to help 24/7 to physical therapists and doctors. The website also has support groups and resources for adult children caring for parents or anyone with disabilities. It's really informative.

e-Mom said...

This is just beautiful! I know how hard it is to care for a sick mother. My Mom passed away from diabetes over a decade ago. (She went blind in the process.)

You and your DH are such a model of Christ's love and care. Thanks for sharing your tip to love, love, love our aging parents!

Saleslady371 said...

This is the best advice. Love is the key.

Debra Kaye said...

Your mama instilled in you the gentle sweet spirit and Jesus lights it aflame. I love you! You are truly a great friend and a dear sister.

Tea With Tiffany said...

Thank you for sharing your mom with us. And yes, love them, love them, love them. Can't go wrong with love.

You're precious, Denise.

So thankful you are my friend.

love you,
tiff

Alicia said...

Oh, Denise...this really touched my heart!

Jesson And Rey Ann said...

Thanks for sharing, nice post!

Shelley said...

Oh that was beautiful. What a blessing that your husband could journey with you x. A beautiful tribute to your momma - just reading those veiw words painted a picture of who she was x

Serendipity said...

Hi Denise,

Thank you for sharing this precious post. A good reminder as I walk down the same path now as you did.

hip-chick said...

What a lovely tribute to your mother and your husband.

One Heart said...

This is beautiful Denise. It is rare to see in-laws that connected these days. What a blessing for all of you. I too know the pain of losing a parent as my daddy went home to be with the Lord in 2004, so I agree about cherishing the moments because tt all goes by so fast.

Thank you for sharing.

Karen said...

Bless you, dear one....