Friday, October 17, 2008


My friends, I have a question for you. If I walked into your church Sunday wearing a scarf or bandanna on my head, would you judge me? Would I be considered disrespectful? As you know, due to medical problems, I had to shave my head. I have tried wearing wigs, but due to my scalp condition, it is just not an option. Well, we went to a new church on Sunday with my in-laws. My mother in-law told me that several remarks were made about me. They were in regards to my head wear. This hurts, but it is ok. I am praying for those who spoke against me. May God give them understanding, and compassion for others who are different. Lovebug said we will not be going back there, it is not where God wants us to be. This Sunday, we will be visiting another church. God will lead us where He wants us to be, we will follow Him.


Heather said...

Denise,I see you through Gods eyes, you are absolutely Beautiful!!!! I have no idea where those people were coming from, I am so sorry you two had too experience such rudeness. I will pray for God to direct you two to the right church that will welcome you both with loving open arms.
God Bless,

Our Home Schooler and Jen said...

shame on them!!!

I am asking The Lord to forgive them
they dont know anything about you
yet they judge

its a shame they dont realise why you have to

my thoughts and prayers are with you
I think the model looks nice as Im sure you do too

and remember what I always say
beauty comes from the inside and to me and Our Lord you are BEAUTIFUL

blessings and peace
Jen xoxox

Chelle' said...

Denise, the truth regarding your question? If you came to my church in a head scarf I would assume first that you had a medical condition. And as with anyone I encounter that I think is enduring something physical, emotional, spiritual... I would pray for you instantly. (Even without the details)

I'm sorry that you've encountered people that walk in judgement rather than compassion. And moreso that you've encountered those people in church- the place you should experience a tangible love of God.

If you are in Pittsburgh my friend... you are welcome to join us at our Sunday Service :) I'll save you a seat.

Oh- and thanks for stopping by my blog and for joining in the Love Dare Challenge. And for spreading the word by putting the button in your sidebar. Day 1 is up!!! I'm so excited to see what the Lord will do in and through marriages.

Speaking from the Heart said...


Cancer would be the first thing that comes to mind. My heart would be filled with sadness, thinking of the chemo you would have to go through. I would have all the respect for you, because you are continuing to live your life to the fullest.

Daddy's Chick's said...

I think you look beautiful! Will keep you in my prayers this sunday.

Debra said...


This news breaks my heart. I truly can't understand it. You are so beautiful! It would be my honor to sit with you.

Honey, sometimes people say things they should not...I honestly wish they could sit with you. They could learn so much about the word "love".

I'm lovin ya from afar. And praying for you to feel the embrace of our Jesus today.


sara said...

Denise, if you wore a scarf on your head to my church, I WOULD probably notice. That said, I would also probably think you were covering your head for the sake of 1 Cor. 11 and think that you were great for living your convictions - see, I'd make an incorrect assumption, but it would be a kind one. ;-)

My church is filled with a very diverse group of people. Everyone looks different from each other - and there is at least one woman who covers her head.

You know you're lovely, right?

Love Bears All Things said...

I'm sorry this happened to you. Your MIL shouldn't have repeated what she heard. In Jesus' day, women would not have gone to church without covering their head. I love to wear hats but it seems church dress has just become too casual.
I love the way you look with your scarf on, you're beautiful.
Mama Bear

Colleen aka Senior Blogger said...

Narrow minded stupid people.... I am so sorry... You continue to go and wear your scraf on your head.... GOD LOVES YOU...
Once Women respected God by covering their heads in Church... You cover yours and go with your head held HIGH and Worship the LORD...
Much LOVE,

Daniel's Mom said...

Thank you for your comment! :) I wouldn't think differently of you. You don't know why someone is wearing something sometimes.

Gretchen said...

You know, those folks who commented about you have waaaay too much free time, IMO. You just walk proudly into that church and glorify God, Missy. He knows how beautiful you are. So do we.

Flip Flop Floozie said...

You would be more than welcomed in our church and I would sit with you and dare anyone to say a thing!! No, really no one would. You just need to find the right church...Sandy

luvmy4sons said...

Gosh! How stupid! Sorry but that is my first reaction. "How stupid! How unkind! Who cares?" Ok. Deep breath...Christ like forgiveness now...sweetie, I don't know if that was really you in the pciture, but if so you are amazingly gorgeous! And if it is not I know that the love of Christ that exudes from you would make you gorgeous no matter what. We go to a church that has so many kinds of people...different colors and races and status...Your bandanna would not be noticed at all. I know that God has a church for you out there. Maybe He allowed this to happen in order to direct you somewhere else. Maybe not. But good for you to have a right attitude about it. And I pray that God lead you to a wonderful church home soon. Wear your bandanna and keep your head high, not with pride but with the love of Christ!

Michele Williams said...

You are so beautiful my friend! Maybe the people said something nice?

You would be accepted at our church! It's a shame we live so far apart!

Heather gets a lot of strange looks and even some who ask her what is wrong with her. They think she has some weird disease with the large blistery hives from head to toe. Words can hurt. This is from strangers at stores and all..... I hurt for her.

I get pointed at and laughed at because I am so large. It makes me not want to go out sometimes.

Some people are just hateful... Most I have found have a good heart....

I love you!

Laurie Ann said...

Denise, I cannot imagine anyone in our church remarking, unless to say it was a beautiful scarf. Hold your head high and never let other people bring you down. You are beautiful in my sight and in the eyes of God, my friend. You are a Daughter of the King! Love, Laurie Ann

Becoming Me said...

First of all, you look beautiful in that picture and second of all, this post just hurts my is not what we wear that matters and it is not at all disrespectful of you for wearing that...

Sharon Brumfield said...

If I could pray one thing for you it would be that God would make you oblivious to what others are thinking about you. Or that you would just not care. Keith is like this....he is himself and just does not care. Wish I could be more like this. I do I understand..really. :)
Sometimes people are just nincompoops.Of course people are going to wonder what is going on with the scarf...I think that is a normal reaction. I think it steps over the line when they are critical. I wonder if the comments were just curious or critical?
I wish your in law had not said anything...sometimes I think it is best just to keep things to yourself. There have been times when I met someone for the first time and formed an opinion that was wrong. I always try and give the person a chance....I don't tend to trust easily.
But you have to give them a chance to know YOU. You are beautiful.
As humans we walk by sight...that is why God told us to walk by faith and not sight.
So they saw you with their fleshly eyes before their spiritual eyes.
That is how we are unless we are walking in the Spirit.
I am glad ya'll are going to try another church. Don't give up on the body girl...there are some of us out here who would love to walk by your side. :)

Daphine said...

My honest answer???? NO! I don't know about your medical condition, but it doesn't MATTER. WOW! I am appauld that this would really happy, but then I guess that I am the naive one. The picture that you've posted is beautiful and to be even more honest...I think that it looks very STYLISH! I'd wear it!! Medical condition or not. Be blessed and wear your scarf and bandanna on your head. Sorry...this one got me started.

Allison said...

Unfortunatly, people can be so rude sometimes. Im sure you would rather they just ask you why you are wearing a scarf rather than speculating. I know you'll find the perfect place where God wants you to be :) Don't lose hope :-D


Jennifer said...

I would never in a million years judge you or anyone else who might have to shave their head. I would pray for you and be thankful for my own health.

I can't imagine how deep that cut especially from people in a church, who don't know you, do not why you had to shave your head or wear a bandana. Grrrrrr! People like that make me so mad. It is my biggest pet never make fun of someone or judge them about something you know nothing about and you don't stare!

God will lead you to the right who will love you for who you are...not the way you look, embrace you, lift you up in prayer and encourage you...not pull you under.

May God richly bless you and your family. Thanks for stopping by my blog...I've enjoyed yours today.

Marsha said...

Sweetie, come through the gorge and go to church with me! No problems there! Everyone is very loving and kind.

Those people will be held accountable to God for their sharp tongued comments. They are just miserable people on the inside and out. Unlike you my friend! You are beautiful on the inside AND the outside.

Love you bunches and bunches!!!

Bernadine said...

If you came to my church wearing a scarf or bandanna I'd probably think that it was your style. I've seen many ladies in my church over the years wear scarves to match their outfit or I've done it ocasionally when I'm having a bad hair day.

Sorry you've encounterd people who hurt you. Don't let it get you down, those of us whom you encourage daily think you're simply beautiful.

Beth (A Mom's Life) said...

If I saw someone wearing that scarf, I would assume they were battling cancer and I would pray for them and their health.

I would never think to say something negative about them or their headwear and I certainly would think it was disrespectful.

Praying that you find the right church...

Julie said...

If you walked into my church with a scarf on your head I would think you were truly beautiful.

Thank you for your sweet comment on my blog and your prayers!


Vicki said...

Guess it's just human nature to jump to conclusions. I often chalk it up to ignorance and move on...sometimes only after my feelings have been hurt, though. Being a nurse, I'd assume a lady with a scarf is having chemo. A friend of mine has lost all her hair, too. Wigs are expensive,so a beautiful scarf is the perfect solution. Don't you just wish some people would *think*?

God bless you, Denise. Praying He will lead you both to just the right church family.

love you,

PS--is that your photo? You are quite the beauty. {{hugs}}

Connie@Little Red Hearts From God said...

I have a heart for people of all kinds..

I would think you were beautiful

Fran said...

I would not have thought a thing about someone coming in with a scarf on her first thought would be an illness. I'm so sorry for the remarks or questions or comments that came your way. You ARE beautiful and they obsviously don't know you. :)

I'm loving the "Love Dare" stuff. Its so good and so needed.

Hugs, my sweet friend!

eph2810 said...

Denise - no it is not right for others to judge your head-wear entering the church. I pray that you and your love-bug will find a church home that is accepting just as Jesus is/was...