Tuesday, August 5, 2008

In Other Words Tuesday


“I do not know that the prodigal saw his father, but his father saw him. The eyes of mercy are quicker than the eyes of repentance. Even the eyes of our faith is dim, compared with the eye of God’s love. He sees a sinner long before a sinner sees Him.” C.H. Spurgeon (Sermon based upon the Prodigal Son): Where are You Father? I cannot see You. My heart is broken and bleeding, I am laying here on the bathroom floor. I am preparing to cut myself once again, the pain is so deep and intense. I need to find a way to numb this hellish pain of grief I am feeling. My momma is gone, she is with You. I know she is in a much better place, no more pain. But, my selfish human side is crying out for my momma. I need her, I want to see her, and talk to her. I need some momma love, those precious hugs. What am I going to do without her? How can I go on? I not only lost my momma, but now I have lost You. I have been such a bad person, falling into the deep dark pit of depression, and then self mutilation. How can You ever forgive me? This was a conversation that I had with my precious Father in May of 2006, after my momma had passed away in April. My Father came running to my side, He comforted me, He healed my brokenness. He forgave me, completely. Mercy was shown to this broken, and lost daughter. The prodigal daughter will never leave her Father again. Thank You Father, I love You.

19 comments:

Laurie Ann said...

Oh, Denise! I never realized the depths of despair you have faced! Praising God with you for His wonderful mercy and love. God bless you, my friend.

MiPa said...

If we call out to Him He is always willing to run to our side. Bless you my dear.

Karen said...

How foolish of us to think God isn't watching and loving us from afar. You're story brings memories and tears. Praise the Lord for the return of another prodigal daughter.

Tiffanie said...

Praising God for His mercy and faithfulness to bring us back to Him. Thanks for sharing.

Marsha said...

Oh Sweetie! You had me scared there for a minute. I was ready to hop in my car, drive to Chattanooga and come give you a big hug!!! Praise God for lifting you out of t
he miry pit!
I love you, my dear sweet encouraging Sister of Faith. Here's some hugs for you anyway!
{{{0}}}

Angie said...

His mercies fail not...they are new every morning. I am so thankful that He never leaves us nor forsakes us! YOU are a living Testimony!
BIG HUG to you!

Glo said...

I praise and thank God for being there for you.

Love and {{Hugs}}

Heather@Mommymonk said...

Thank you Denise for being such an open example of God's mercy. It's when we are the most broken that His mercy shines. I'm so glad He has pulled you out of that pit.

Talk..to..Grams said...

So glad God's mercy is wide and so deep! You are so precious to HIM. Love Grams

luvmy4sons said...

I so appreciate your honesty. I think it is only in giving God our ugliness He can switch it out with His beauty. Thanks for your sweet comment and prayers on my behalf about my money whining post. I am glad that God helped you out of your pit.

Amanda B. said...

Denise,

Thanks for being sooo Honest with us today. I was a little scared at first, too, but I appreciate your honesty. Would you remember my dad in the next 90 days...he shared some of the abuse and neglect that his mother did to him from a small child with me last night. God is continuing to open my eyes to the reason my dad has been so unable to "love" me. He is about to undergo detox from alcohol and therapy which I am sure will reveal many demons that have been torturing him. I know Jesus is working...I am at complete peace, but the kind of pain you have described, my dad has faced. He shared with me that he actually fixed a rope to hang himself once as a young boy. My heart breaks for him. I now realize that his inability to show me the love that I so desperately needed as a child was because he had no love in himself to give. Our heavenly father has more than enough for us all, though. I just want my dad to feel the love of God so deep into his bones that the trial he is about to face will be like floating on the clouds. Thanks again for sharing your heart and I know you will be able to pray from an empathetic heart.

Love your sister,

Amanda

Michele W. said...

I had the same reaction as my sister Marsha on this blog. Although I was wondering how I could travel from AZ! Praise God for His love and mercy. I thank the Lord for your sharing and caring heart.
Love, Michele

Jennifer said...

Wow, what I testimony! I'm praising God with you that He never leaves our sides!

Twinkle Mom of Sunflower Faith said...

Denise....You are such a source of encouragement and strength and I am so humble by the love and faith you have.

God bless you dear sister!

Serendipity said...

What a testimony! God is good and merciful! Glad that He is always close by and keeping loving watch!

I have some awards for you. Do come by to collect! Have a blessed day!

sailorcross said...

Denise,

I just read your blog from 8/5/08. I found you on the Internet Cafe.

How well I remember when my own mom passed away, how adrift I felt, how I cried every day for months. I was far from God at that point in my life, but He was still there for me. I just didn't know it.

I am so glad that God is always there for us. He has never let you go, and He will never let me go. So thankful!!

Beth

Stop by some time and read my testimony "Darkness into Light". I am not the same person I was then--God has reached in and changed my heart!

Jaina said...

Wow. That was deep, very deep. Deep and sadly beautiful, in it's own way. ::hugs::

Gretchen said...

Thank you for sharing your dark moments with us, Denise. The Lord has sure kept you in His unfailing light. We just have to ask. Blessings.

A Stone Gatherer said...

So glad you felt his reach and responded! God has made you a mighty example of keeping your eyes on Him!