Saturday, June 21, 2008

Cafe Chat

As Christians we read in Ecclesiastes 3:
There is a time for everything,and a season for every activity under heaven:
a time to weep, and a time to laugh,a time to mourn, and a time to dance.
Knowing this, we are aware that there will be times when our hearts hurt, and break. Each of us has experienced that heart break in one form, or another. Thinking back on your life, what makes your heart break, and why?: I have loved my dad my entire life, but he does not return that love. I have tried so hard to win his love, but I always fail. He thinks the world of my sister, seeing them together makes my heart long for the relationship they have. He has always been ashamed of me because of my weight. I know that I am not very attractive, not even cute. I guess you could call me the runt of the litter. My sister is everything I am not:thin, attractive, has lovely hair. She is the daughter that dad is proud of. My big brother passed away almost two weeks ago, so suddenly and unexpected. At the visitation, some people that my dad works with came to pay their respects. My sister and I were standing across from them, talking to my husband. My dad said to them, my daughter is here somewhere, I want to introduce you to her. He then spotted us across the room, and said, come here Vickie, I want you to meet someone. He totally ignored me, I was devastated. It also hurt me that my sister left me behind. I expressed my feelings to my sister later, her only comment was that I needed to get over it. So, with my true Fathers help, I will get over it. My heavenly Father loves me just as I am, flaws and all. I will always love my dad, and forever pray for him. But, my heart does hurt. Thank You heavenly Father for being my soothing balm.


A Stone Gatherer said...

Denise I so hurt for you and the pain that you had to endure! Not only the loss of your brother, but the cruelty of your father! Let me tell you this though sister! You have not failed! Your father is the one failing you! I know you know this, but isn't it great that you don't have to win your Abba Fathers love! It's there no matter what! Your heart is tender toward your father, that's wonderful, continue to pray!

luvmy4sons said...

Oh Denise. that is a hurt so deep that only Jesus can fix it. I was wounded by muy father in othe ways, but despite his mistakes I alwyas sensed he loved me somehow. I can't imagine how terrible for you this rejection must be! I am so very very sorry.


Only you can fill a gaping hole in my sister's heart that is as big as the one her father leaves and keeps widening...touch my dear sister. May Your love fill that hole and her heart to overflowing. Amen.

Julie said...

Denise, I am so sorry for the hurt that your dad's choices bring you. You don't deserve that. You are a beautiful woman. Those who have the honor of knowing you see that beauty. Your King is enthralled with your beauty. I too have had my wounds from my dad... and Papa God comes to them and tells me the truth healing each one. I hate the lies the enemy has whispered to you. I pray for Papa to reveal to you just how beautiful you are.

P.S. Just one more thought. It's not your fault that your earthly father makes the choices he does. It's his own junk.

Connie@Little Red Hearts From God said...

Even still.. It hurts....

Papa.. Why?

thank you God this is only a stepping stone before we get to YOU.

Lift my precious friend up and let her know how loved she is...

This is one of those surrender moments..

You have been in my thoughts and prayers a lot lately...

I'm so sorry... that pain on top of the pain of your loss of your brother..

I love you precious..

and you are beautiful.. NOT the runt...never


Chelsey said...

I am so sorry that you have to deal with the heartbreak of your Father.

Praise Jesus that He is a Father to the Fatherless.

Praise Jesus that when He looks at you, Denise, He sees His beautiful child resting at His feet.

My God grant you a peace that surpasses all understanding!

Praying for you sweet sister.

a woman found said...

Oh Denise! That hurts deep! I hurt with you just reading. Can I share with you that my sister has also gone through this. I was the one who was thin and did the things that got my father's approval. My sister has always struggled with her wieght and felt she had to compete with me to win our dad's love. It has been a hard and painful road for all of us. But with much prayer and the willingness to take up the cross and follow Jesus in my relationship to my sister and with her in her relationship to our earthly dad, God has proven Himself to heal wounds that seemed unhealable!

Keep pouring out your broken heart to the Father! He gathers every tear. He sees, He knows! Don't stop praying and laying down your life to follow Christ in this heartbreaking time!

I'm so glad you vulnerably shared this! I'm going to keep you in prayer!


But I say to you who hear, Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, 28 bless those who curse you, pray for those who abuse you. 29 To one who strikes you on the cheek, offer the other also, and from one who takes away your cloak do not withhold your tunic either. 30 Give to everyone who begs from you, and from one who takes away your goods do not demand them back. 31 And as you wish that others would do to you, do so to them. 32 If you love those who love you, what benefit is that to you? For even sinners love those who love them. 33 And if you do good to those who do good to you, what benefit is that to you? For even sinners do the same. 34 And if you lend to those from whom you expect to receive, what credit is that to you? Even sinners lend to sinners, to get back the same amount. 35 But love your enemies, and do good, and lend, expecting nothing in return, and your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High, for he is kind to the ungrateful and the evil. 36 Be merciful, even as your Father is merciful. - Luke 6:28-36

Linda aka yellowroseli said...

So Sorry to hear about the passing of your loved one.
Forgiveness is sometime so hard. I think when it is a parent it is the hardest. We expect them to shelter us and when does not happen it is a deep hurt.
You are in my prayers

Colleen Couvillon Gough said...

Denise, you are a beautiful person. Never let anyone take that from you. You have beauty and love to give and we all love you back.

Have a blessed day,
Your Sister in Christ,
Colleen said...

Hi Denise!This is the first time in a week that I have been able to get out and go vist a few of my blogging friends! Nancy is home and yesterday we had to go over to another town to one of her specialist. They did more blood work. Can you belive she had a reaction while the Dr was examining her. He got her a glass of orange juice. Our Dr has changed all her insulins around. same two insulins but different dosages. I thought she ate enough before we left home but I guess not! I had crackers for her but she wouldn't eat them....

Sorry about your Dad!! It great you have a wonderful Heavenly DAD!!! You are one of the most beautiful people I know!! love you, Grams

annie said...

I'm sorry.
Blessings to you.
Thank you for stopping by my blog.

Gretchen said...

Simply: He was wrong, and so was she. Good thing you know whose you really are and that YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL! Hugs, friend.

Bernadine said...

My heart aches for you. I will keep you in my prayers that God will one day restore your relationship with your father. You are a beautiful person inside and out.