Wednesday, February 24, 2016


All my life I have wanted to belong, to fit in somewhere. It seems I was destined to be a square peg, in a round shaped world. No one would play with me in elementary school, because I was overweight, I was constantly bullied. It got to the point, where I begged my teacher to let me stay in the class room during recess, and help her clean the chalk board, file papers, and various other chores. In junior high, and high school, my girlfriends dated, while I stayed home on the weekends. I met my husband Eddie, when I was 21. We met in November 1984, he asked me to marry him in December 1984, we got married in April 1985. We have been together 31 years this April. I love him more than mere words could even begin to describe. I thank God for him daily, he is precious to me. But, he treats me like a possession, not a wife. He does not want me to have friends, go to church, or anywhere else. I have to live by his rules. He takes advantage of the fact that I cannot drive, because I am legally blind. I feel he uses my other physical ailments against me also. He does not want to go to church, and does not want me to go without him. In his eyes, I definitely belong to him. But, you know what? I do not belong to him, like a possession. I am a woman, made of flesh, human being. God created me, I am His. I belong to the King of Kings!! All I have to be, is me. I do belong, to the family of God.


from our home ✂ to yours said...

hi friend, sorry you feel that way, but i have a question
you said you are blind, but how do you blog the? does any
family do this for you?

Keeping you in prayers Denise, its hard to comment
on peoples private life, i rather pray, blessings from us

Karen Beth Courcy said...

First of all, thank you so much for being a part of my Tuesday at Ten . . . 2nd of all, you are NOT a possession. What he is doing to you is emotional abuse. You are your OWN person. Have you ever talked to anyone about this? A marriage is 2, not one. You have the right to make your own decisions and do your OWN things in that marriage and its not right that he is controlling you and your life just because you are married. This makes me sad and I hope that you can take another step and find someone to talk to about this and get some help to have more of an open marriage.

I will say a prayer for you and thank you for sharing your blog on my Link up!

Ceil said...

Hi Denise! I have read your last three posts, and am so touched by your journey of last year. Can you believe it's been a year already? Thank God it's in the past, and you have so much to live for now...especially getting to see your sister!
You're right. You don't belong to anyone, you belong to God. He knows how important and precious you are. You are His own. His chosen one. That's such Good News, right?

White Lace and Promises said...

Yes, you are of the Royal Priesthood. You are a princess and when we know that nothing can take that away. Right now, I am going through some things with the mister that are hard. He doesn't want to go anywhere and I am such an extrovert. However for 10 years, I have felt isolation and would not go out. I guess it's called an exchange. I'm so sorry. I pray that you'll find your communion in Jesus. There have been times when I have been isolated and I felt all I had was Jesus. You know he is enough. He will hem you in His presence and you will be enclosed in His embrace. That's what I pray for you now.

suzy mae said...

Denise you belong to God. You are a beloved child of God. He loves you and wants you to have a life that is full and happy. You have a strong bond with your husband and a long marriage which is a wonderful thing. I hope that you can grow together in a way that allows both your needs to be met. You have lived through some really painful and difficult times and come through with incredible strength and faith. You deserve to be happy.

Sharon said...

I am reminded of our dear Savior, of whom it was said that He had no place to lay His head. I'm sure He knew what it felt like to not belong. You are wise, Denise, to remember that you are His daughter. And there is no better place to belong than tucked in close to our Lord!


Bob Bushell said...

Not a good man, I feel for you.

Jeanette Levellie said...

I'm sorry he does not see your inestimable value, dear Denise. You are worth more than rubies! Can you get a ride to church from a friend?
Grace and wisdom,