Tuesday, April 14, 2015

Through The Fire

 I got very sick on November 10, Eddie took me to the ER. We thought it was my diabetes, as always. Well, it was my diabetes, I was in DKA, and also had an infection in my pancreas. But, the big surprise, I was having a heart attack. They put me in intensive care, and did a triple bypass on Wednesday, November 12. They really did not think I was going to survive. They actually started telling Eddie to prepare to bring hospice care out for me. I made it through the surgery, then had to go to rehab, to relearn to walk. I now have to use a walker. Sunday, it had been five months since my heart surgery. As you can imagine, the medical bills are a mile high. I feel like the hospital is my second home. Things have been rough, in every way. I have truly felt the flames licking at my heels. One month ago, this coming Wednesday, I attempted suicide by an overdose.  Am I proud of this??? Of course not, but it is, what it is. There is no need to lie about it, or sugar coat it.  I love the Lord, as always. I believe in Him more each day. Without Him, I would have been gone a long time ago, with Him, I have precious eternal life. I am far from a perfect daughter to my gracious Father, but, I Am Forgiven!!!!!The fires of hell tried their best to consume me, but my Living Water, as always, saved me. I am rising up out of the ashes, Father is not finished with me yet. Praying, loving, and thanking you all.

15 comments:

cynia said...

Good you're here.

Debbie Harris said...

Oh oh oh!! Denise, its you!! You're back!!
I'm excited to say the least!!
Oh praise God for His hand upon you, dear friend.
You are exactly right, the Lord is not finished with you yet. :-)
My prayers will continue for you in the day ahead.
May you find peace in our Precious Jesus.
Love you, dear Denise

Joy in Jesus! Debbie

Melanie said...

I'm so sorry, Denise! I figured something must have been wrong. I've been praying for you. I sent you a friend request on FB. Didn't know if you knew it was me. Hugs to you, friend. Will continue praying!

LeAnn said...

You have been deeply blessed to still be here. You went through so much my dear one. Obviously, the Lord does have a plan for the two of you.
Blessings and hugs!

BumbleBeeLane said...

Such trials. Will keep you in prayer. Our hospitol has a charity care if you talk with the billing department they may consume some of the cost. Maybe also salvation army could help.If you are able to set up a paypal account I' m sure some bloggy friends would help some. A few dollars ends up growing when everyone works together.Sucide is never the answer. I understand life get's to hard at times but you definately want to be in heaven when your time has come. Big hugs!~♥Amy

The Queen of Brussels Sprouts said...

Oh, I am so very glad you posted! It sound like you quite literally been through hell. I've been thinking of you.

The Queen of Brussels Sprouts said...

I can't tell if my post went through earlier...but I was so relieved to see you post!

Lisa in Texas = ) said...

Oh Denise! I am so happy to see you posting again. I have thought of you off and on over the last 6 mt.
I am so sorry that you have had such a rough time. I have a wonderful quote that I want to share with you- I don't have time to get it right now but later today I'll try to get it to you. If nothing else I'll try to post it on my blog. It's very encouraging. God loves you so very much snd has you in the palm of His hands.
Love you sweet lady, Lisa :)

Debbie Huffaker said...

I read this with tears and such a feeling of shame because of the things in my life that I make such a big deal over are so very trivial. So glad you are on the mend and that God saved you. You know....He saves us EVERY single day. Prayers for a complete recovery and for more strength each day for you. Love from a sister in Christ....Deb.

Mom to 3 said...

My dear friend Denise,

I am sorry that the trials have been so intense for you. I pray that God reveals to you how incredibly precious that you are to Him. Thank you for sharing your heart with us. I pray that you feel God's hope and healing in a powerful way. "For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus unto good works, which God has before ordained that we should walk in them." Ephesians 2:10. I wish I could give you a big hug through the computer screen. Much love and prayers for you. Your friend and sister in Christ, Jolene

Peggy said...

Yes, my most precious Denise ... you have gone "through the fire"! I am so many are still praying for you and believing. This is so great that you are able to go back this far and detail all that you've been through after so long and it's SO WONDERFUL to see you back online or at least a BLOG! WOO HOO! and Yeah for Shortybear!!! I'm doing the praise dance to the song with a Shortybear shuffle and sending a BIG HUG and so much love!!! (((hugs))) prayers and blessings Denise ... love you so much,
Peggy

Singing Praise Homemaker said...

Praying you are healing Denise...

*Blessings,Renee
https://singingpraisehomemaker.wordpress.com/

rcubes said...

Hi sister Denise. I know you've gone through so much. I remain praying for you. And I pray that you'll always be strong in His power. There's no other words to say that I know that I'm not the only one here who loves you and are keeping you in prayers. Always.

KC Bob said...

I am so sorry Denise. I hate that life has become so hard. I pray that it will get easier and you will find life in life. Blessings to you in this impossible time.

Hugs, Bob

Denise said...

You are so special to Him