Friday, August 16, 2013

Five Minute Friday-Small

My husband is five foot nine, and I am only five foot. But, I have always felt like his equal. Together, we were a united couple, facing the world together. The ups, downs, and the in between times. But, I had a stroke September 2011, and I suddenly became very small. Not outwardly small, but inwardly. Physically, I know my body has experienced some changes, and of course, emotionally. But, I am still me, and always will be. But, in my husbands eyes, mind, and sadly, his heart, he does not see me as his wife any more. He treats me as if I am some small, insignificant, troublesome part of his life. Each time he yells at me, curses me, reminds me over, and over of all the things I am incapable of doing, I become smaller and smaller. I feel like the incredible shrinking woman. When he truly is fed up with me, then he just ignores me. He is here with me, but yet I am alone. The more he isolates me, the smaller he knows I will become, until finally I disappear. Is that what he wants?

31 comments:

Lizzy Grae said...

I am so sorry to read that this is your experience. Praying that God will renew you from within. Small is not insignificant in his eyes.

sweetvintageofmine said...

I pray God gives you the understanding that you do not have to accept being verbally abused. I pray for emotional strength and for God to help you realize this is not something you are to except in your life. It is not wrong for you to seek help in this area...talk to someone on the phone if nothing else...you are too kind and sweet! In the meantime...God is in control concerning your husband....Blessings~~~Roxie

Ceil said...

Hi Denise. I am praying that God will change your husband's heart. You are the same! Only your body has changed.I am sure that if this happened to him, you would be there for him.

Also praying for strength for you.
Ceil

Linda@Creekside said...

I am so sorry for this pain, Denise. I pray God will give you wisdom and grace to walk through this. As a counselor, I encourage you to find a safe place to sort through these changes, so you can emerge victorious and at great peace.

With love ...

HOOTIN ANNI said...

If you want my opinion...only God knows.

Be strong.

asmallbutmeaningfullifeblog said...

Keeping you in my prayers. You are so much bigger than you think Denise. Rosanne

The Queen of Brussels Sprouts said...

That is exactly how I feel in public in my wheelchair and with a soft voice...small and ignored.

Dolly@Soulstops said...

Dear Denise,
I am feeling so sad as I read your words...Praying today for God to comfort you and for you to know how very much He treasures you, and I am praying your husband will also...hugs to you.

Abigail McDonald said...

You are not small! God sees you. You are His masterpiece. Praying for you during this difficult time. May you feel how wide, long, and deep his love is for you.

M.A. said...

Denise, I want to give you the biggest hug in the world. Let me tell you something, don't you dare feel small because the bravery you have shown in writing this post makes you the Warrior for Jesus you named your blog after. I am going to keep you in my prayers for strength when you go through these moments. I am also going to put your in prayer with my mom's prayer circle. Something tells me you have a strong spirit and that does not dissappear. You are strong and not insignificant.

Michelle said...

It's amazing how someone else's words about and perception of us can make us feel incredibly small or immeasurably powerful. This is especially true of those we care about the most.

Anonymous said...

I'm so sorry to read what is going on in your life sweeheart. At one point in my life I was there too, but Gods mercy took me out of that mess... I got closer to him and he taught me... that with him nothing matter. My favorites Psalms are 27, 139. God is our Father and there's nothing imposible for him, he will make your husband cry like a baby and put him in shame so he will learned the hard way how to treat his little girl. Today I have my Cell Group in my house for the weekly gathering. You will be in our prayers. God bless! Call the prayer line of Richard Robert, this is a healing ministry. 918-495-7777. Take care!

Amy Lynne said...

Denise, I pray that in the midst of this pain, Christ will whisper His words into your ears and lift you up and show you what a BIG role you play in His kingdom. May He protect, guide, and lead you into a perfectly peaceful life.

Mia De Vries said...

Dear Denise
Please, dear friend, think of what you are allowing yourself to go through!! Is it worth it?
Luv to you XX
Mia

Dee said...

HUGS FROM DEE♥

Angela said...

You don't have to share this if you don't want too, I'm ok with that...God knows my heart...as He knows yours sweet sister..I continue to pray for you and your hubby...I pray for freedom, complete freedom...I watch my parents and the dysfunction I see what is happening..I see my mother getting smaller and smaller..I stood up to my dad the other day..I cried while doing it for it is very fearful...I had to face down my fear and confront...Being submissive is fine, but we are also called to confront...if we are to follow as Christ...we confront injustice...as I tell my husband..everything from a place of love, respect and honor!~

Mel said...

Oh, friend, this just breaks my heart. I am so sorry for the hurt and heartache you are going through...I'm praying for God to work in your husband's heart...that he will see your beauty, kindness, and value. What a blessing you are to this community...and there is nothing small and insignificant about that. Sending you a hug tonight.

RCUBEs said...

Just dropping by to let you know I never forget to pray for you. Going to work soon sister. May the Lord protect you and have a great weekend. I pray bro. Eddie will be restored by Him.

cynia said...

I've noticed you've got a tattoo on your hand. What's that and what's its meaning?

Michell Pulliam said...

Oh mysweet friend, praying for you and your situation! Do know that you do matter to God, you're BIG in His eyes and He loves you madly! Remember, you were significant enough to die for! Love you my friend! Blessings to you! xoxoxo

Amber said...

I am praying that God heals you and helps open your husbands eyes. I know that your situation seems dire right now but I promise if you look toward Him He will give you comfort and peace. He has a plan my friend and even during the times when you feel the smallest, He is there for you! You are not alone!! I am going to share a song link below. If you get a moment listen to it. Let the words hit you you hard and believe that He will heal all that is broken and worn. I too have been in a situation that left me feeling as you do. It gets better. Hold on to our Lord and it will get better! Many blessings and prayers for you.

Always,
your FMF friend
Amber

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zulKcYItKIA

Chatty Crone said...

I can't honestly say - I wish i could. I am praying for you and I do believe in miracles.

HisFireFly said...

praying for peace and comfort and strength in the Lord Who sees you exactly as He made you, whole and beloved!

Laurie Collett said...

Praying for you, Denise. You are a glorious daughter of the King, and He cares for you beyond measure. God bless.

bluecottonmemory said...

Praying for restoration, Denise - restoration physically, emotionally and relationally. Praying protection around your heart and mind - and liberation from a hurt. You are so precious to the Father who created you. Praying that he open the eyes and heart of your husband. Praying that you see you how God sees you - you are not small or insignificant in His estimation.

De simpel huisvrouw said...

on my heart for you friend

i was thinking do i comment or not?
and being carefully

what i say
so you dont misunderstood my motives

the holy spirit put this on my heart

this is it:

1 corinthian 13 tells us all what love is and what it isnt

a lot of time

efeziers 5:22 is being misunderstood

being summisive to our husband is obeying God

but

it is also obvious that any way of mistreating is not an interpration of love..

no ware in the bible i can read that

we all want the best of this situation
and pray for you ...you now that

further God do the rest
we cannot tell you what to do
sweet friend...

as MRS HOOTIN AAN SAID.

ONLY GOD NOWS...
strenght for you and peace
in your home.

loves soraya

Tam said...

The answer to your question, sadly, is yes. I have lived through an abusive relationship. The abuse doesn't get any less, only worse. We create our own karma and we can choose to allow the disrespect to continue or for it to end. In my case, the only way it was going to end is if I left. So I did. And I spent the better part of thirteen years putting the pieces back together. You know your life best and you know what's right for this earth walk better than I do. In my experience, though, I became non-human, I ceased to exist as a person and it took a long time for me to feel like a person again and to function more fully in the world.

Denise said...

Please remember how You look in Jesus's eyes!

Jo Rose said...

You are not small in the eyes of your Savior. Pleae remember that. Hugs and prayers,

Jolene

Tracy said...

Hi Denise, I pray the Lord restores you fully physically but even more importantly, I pray you realize your equality in Jesus name. Your husband is no better or worse than you, and deep down he probably knows that and his anger,frustration and bad attitude probably all stem from the fact that he is scared, fearful and completely aware of how small he is. I pray the strength of the Lord shines through you today as you show him the grace and mercy he does not deserve.
God bless and praying
Tracy

LeAnn said...

This is so sad and I will continue to pray for you both. I know Heavenly Father will help soften his heart. I do know that deep down inside he loves and cherishes you. I maintain he is grieving and stuck in the anger stage.
Blessings dear friend!