Friday, August 9, 2013

Five Minute Friday- Lonely

I am very lonely, missing my husband, my beloved.  He has been missing since I had my stroke on Labor Day 2011. Not only did I lose a big part of my self, I also lost my husband. He went missing the minute I came home from the rehab hospital. I know it upset him that I had a stroke, totally understand that. But, he turned against me, I do not understand that at all. He now constantly ignores me, or yells at me, curses me, shows much anger toward me. Does not treat me like his wife, instead, he treats me like someone he is just stuck with. It hurts beyond words. Lonely, yes, that definitely is a word that describes me at this time in my life. Gut wrenching lonely, feeling empty, drained, all out of love. Plenty of love to give, but receiving none in my marriage.

22 comments:

Mia De Vries said...

Dear Denise
I am so sorry that you are going through so much pain. Verbal abuse is an ugly monster. Don't you think living apart from him for a while might just clear your perspective?
Luv XX
Mia

Stacey.O said...

Bless you Denise. I want to encourage you that God is for you and with you right now in this moment. His love is endless, His desire for your happiness is huge. My prayer is that you would know His presence in your life, in your marriage and that healing, breakthrough and deep rooted joy would be yours in abundance xxx

Joyful said...

Praying. Love you. ((hugs))

BumbleBeeLane said...

My heart breaks for you friend.You are loved.Keep fighting and trust that God will show you his will and begin to heal you.Hugs!~Amy

Love Bears All Things said...

not saying it is right, but maybe this is his way of protecting himself from losing you. I think both of you would benefit from counseling but I'm sure you've thought of that....
Remember you are loved by me,
Mama Bear

suzy said...

Dear Denise, I am so truly sorry. I can't imagine how hard this time must have been for you.
Jesus is near to the broken hearted, he will not forsake or desert you.
I don't know what to say. But I send virtual hugs and real prayers xx

Julie Arduini said...

How I wish I had perfect words to give you--because you my friend have had the perfect words for all of us.

I've lived a season like this as a daughter and a wife, and thankfully God redeemed both seasons and all situations.

May Jesus bring ultimate healing to both of you, and may that sweet restoration come sooner than later.

Thank you for trusting us with your precious thoughts. You are not alone, even though I know it feels this way. May Hosea 2:14 comfort you.

Love,
Julie

RCUBEs said...

(((sister Denise)))...

I know life's trials can be overwhelming to some...but continuing to lift you both up in His throne of grace. Love to you.

claygirlsings said...

You have been such an encouragement to me with your comments on my blog. I had no idea until tonight the burden you bear. Prayers for you, dear one.

Jo Rose said...

Praying for you Denise! May you feel God's comfort and peace. Hugs!

Joy said...

I just wish I can change your situation Denise. I was like you with tge father of my children in the Philippines. Thanks God that everything changed. I have now a husband that loves me with all his heart. I am not saying that you leave your husband, but if there is a better place that can make you happy seek it with God's guidance.

Ma said...

I hope and pray things turn around for you soon.

Denise said...

I just e-mailed You dear sweet girl :)

Lea said...

Love and prayers to both you and your husband Denise. You ARE A WARRIOR FOR JESUS... and I can hear the battle going on right now. Keep putting that armor on... be encouraged... and don't give up. You're loved.
Cherished.
Chosen.
Hang in there.

Farida said...

Prayer changes things, Ms Denise! :)

Chatty Crone said...

That is so sad. I am so sorry. I hope a miracle happens.

Amy Lynne said...

My heart goes out to you, Denise. I went through some excruciating things in my marriage and the Lord healed and restored both my husband and me.

I pray that Christ will keep carrying you through until He wins this battle.

The Queen of Brussels Sprouts said...

Ya know,I have noticed two things about strokes. There seems no in between. They either draw you closer or push you apart.

The Queen of Brussels Sprouts said...

Btw, I really like your new picture!

Christina said...

His heart is heavy. He feels cheated. He married a perfect person in his eyes and you are no longer that person. He isn't asking God for guidance.
I know all this because I went through this with my hubby. I went through a nervous break down for 2 yrs. But fortunately he stood by me. We had some trying times through it though. Over the yrs we have talked and he told me those very words- that he felt cheated- I was no longer that perfect person he married.
But he had long talks with the Lord and realized he married me for better or worse and we were in our worse. But we made it through it with the Lord's help. Your hubby is mad at himself because he feels overwhelmed and wishes he could take your pain and hurt away and make things better and he can't. He was always the strong one and now he isn't. He doesn't know how to handle it. He feels if he can't do it then how can the Lord. He is letting his pride get in his way.
So it's hard for him to take the next step and just realize you may never be the person you were before. And it's standing in his way of loving you the way you are now. Until he takes time to accept all this he can never move forward.
I wish you well hon. The Lord will carry you.
Christina

Angela said...

praying in agreement with this sister who wrote; I want to encourage you that God is for you and with you right now in this moment. His love is endless, His desire for your happiness is huge. My prayer is that you would know His presence in your life, in your marriage and that healing, breakthrough and deep rooted joy would be yours in abundance xxx

AMEN AMEN AMEN

Cheryl said...

May God fill you with Himself as you face the hard days. May He give you wisdom in knowing how to respond to your husband and to respond to yourself. May God give you hope and strength.