Thursday, July 25, 2013

Opnions Wanted

My friends, your opinions would truly be appreciated. I have put up a poll on my sidebar, if you want to place your vote, please do. No pressure, if you do not want to vote, I totally understand. As most of you know, next Wednesday is when I have an appointment with the vocational center. My husband really does not want me to do this, and is making his feelings more and more clear. He is now saying if I will just forget about this, and respect his feelings concerning this, that the following things will happen. We will join the gym at the rehab center where I stayed when I had my stroke, he will go to some stroke support meetings with me, he will consider us going to church. He is making me feel like I am on a game show, let's make a deal. When I try to talk to him about the things I truly want to do, he gets so angry. Please lift me up in your prayers, and I will be praying for you my friends.

18 comments:

Inger said...

I don't want to give my vote on this because I feel it between you and your husband. Obviously, he has strong feelings about it. However, I firmly believe that you must, MUST, let people follow their own hearts, do what they want to do, be supportive of their decisions and so on. I do not believe in trying to change your partner's mind. (As long as it is a sound mind, exceptions of course, for addicts and such.)

Marian said...

Denise Ora, Dios te dirá lo que debes hacer.Cuenta con mi oración.
Un abrazo grande.Dios te bendiga.

The Queen of Brussels Sprouts said...

Honestly, I have found that life in general is just easier when I do what my hubby wants. It isn't worth the fight. Then again, he is even more stubborn than me and that is something!

BumbleBeeLane said...

I guess my biggest question would be why is he so upset about you trying to get your life back and trying to be the best you can be? Does he have ligimate concerns and reasons or is it just a control issue? Does he worry that you are really in poor health and afraid for you (but if that's the case mean actions and words are more stress than standing on your own two feet again) Such hard descions. Many years ago when I was going through trials a pastor told me yes you should honor your husband but only if he honors you,that God would never want us to go through abuse for the sake of honoring someone who doesn't respect us.Only you are there and no the truth.Do you think he'll follow through if you give in or just go to the side again.Pray,meditate and ask God for guidance.Keeping you in prayer.

Farida said...

Follow your heart, Ms Denise. Go if you must.

Chatty Crone said...

Oh hon - I can't tell you - you have to follow your heart. So why does he want you not to wok? sandie

unprocessedgal said...

This can be dicey. Would you to have a pastor to counsel with, that would help. But more importantly, is the Word. Honoring our husbands, when they don't want us to do something that feels SOOOO right and God-led, is the hardest thing. However...God has nowhere in His word that tells us to go 'outside' of our husbands' wishes. I'll be praying and watching the comments.

Peggy said...

My sweetest warrior Princess Shortybear - lovingly known as Denise,

You must DO what God is telling you to do! Not anyone's opinion or demands or the best deal in town ... but what God gives you peace about and the doors that He alone has opened or can open. Your life is not a game. The effects that someone is having on you and your health are more harmful than all your medical problems. You are God's! Your special someone should have been doing all these things all this time rather than the way he has been treating you. He also needs to get his act together with God, in order for you to respect him as your headship (which he isn't when he isn't under God's umbrella). You do whatever gives you peace inside and God makes possible, what the dr.s recommend, or this program.
You need to be strong and stand for what you know is right and best for you. You need to be well. You need to feel and know that you are valuable and have something of great value to offer. You are priceless.No one has the right to coerce you into not fulfilling your full potential. This is not my opinion... this is fact! I love you. I'm sure he does and wants what is best, but he can't let go and let God.
You know I am lifting you in prayer and will continue. You are in God's hands and so should he be surrendering to God's will. I pray his eyes will be opened and yours to the truth. Praying for Vicky as well! God be with you always and in every decision. Trust your inside.
Not the outside voices. I love you so much! ... please take care of you!(and Coco too) ... what harm will it do to go and find out? Certainly is nothing that will hurt him. Trust God, He's got your back! Raise the sword and give a gentle answer in love.

Love and peace (praying)...
Peggy

ohh and rather than "neither" as an option, you might have "Other option"...

Lean on God, honey ... He loves you and so do we! If I was there,I'd stand with ya' and even take you on Weds.

Tam said...

Shortybear, we don't know each other, but I know the situation you are in. I am not even a Christian. However, if I may say, you will feel stronger and more confident and truer to yourself following through with what you have planned. No one has the right to manipulate another person the way your husband is manipulating you. And what happens if you do everything he has asked and there is still no change? He says he will consider going to church. That's not the same as going to church. From reading your posts, I can see how important that is for you. In my opinion, a marriage is a partnership where both people come to an understanding that supports both individuals. What your husband is proposing only supports himself.

Wanda said...

As a single girl, I don't think I even have right to voice an opinion on the matter Denise. Praying that God will grant you the wisdom and direction you need.

Love Bears All Things said...

First, I didn't feel I had enough information and had missed some important postings so I went back and read the ones I missed.
It appears that this battle with Eddie has been going on for weeks and that cannot be good for either of you...I know that you are constantly in prayer about your decision and that you feel it is the right one for you. Although, I'm concerned about your health and if you can hold up physically to the training and then to the employment... You feel this is something you want to try and even if you fail, at least you followed your heart.
That said, I think I understand some of Eddie's feelings also, not that I agree with them. He probably feels that you will be less dependent on him and sees this as a pulling away.
I went through much of the same thing in the early years of my marriage...I think that Honey Bear wanted me to be completely dependent on him and he was so jealous that he didn't even want to hear about my life away from home. He didn't want me to work and when I did, he made me miserable when I was home. I will admit that I gave in to keep harmony at home. He grew and changed and isn't the manipulative, jealous man he used to be. He still doesn't want me to work but doesn't mind me being involved in volunteer activities...
So, I will not advise you about what you should do. But I will pray that if you go ahead, this will not put such a strain on your marriage that it is in danger.
Mama Bear

Anonymous said...

http://peacefulwife.com/2013/07/26/biblical-submission-a-huge-key-to-peace/

Please read this as I hope and pray it will help you with your decision. Hugs! Lisa

MyJourneyBack said...

Lots of people love and care about you. Lots of people have thoughts and comments. But as many have said you have to trust yourself and trust God. It is very hard to make a decision like this. I know. I am there/here too in many ways. I struggle with some of the same ?'s. But no one else can really give you advice. People can comment and give suggestions or vote. But ultimately it is what you hear God saying to you. I am not always good at listening and waiting on God. I know that in my own struggles that I have seen him put obstacles in my way to help me follow the path he wants me on. Which btw isn't usually the path I want. With all that said. Trust in Him. Be happy in Him. Ask for prayer support and bask in the love he is surrounding you with. Just look at how many people follow you. You are loved. You are Blessed.

Donetta said...

Why is he against it is the biggest question to me. He sounds desperate and bargaining. Just what is it he is afraid of? you health, independence, loss or fear of losing you. embarrassment if a coworker sees you?
Or is he scared that something might happen to you, that he could loss you.
You might even prove yourself to be quite able minded. Does that scare or intimidate him?

Re-asuring him may help. Calling it a trail basis or experiment.

Sharon said...

This is a tough one. I'm going to suggest some outside counsel - do you have a pastor you could talk to? And, of course, the Word promises that if we sincerely seek wisdom and guidance, the Lord will answer. I will pray for HIS sure direction and discernment in this matter.

GOD BLESS!

LeAnn said...

Let me just give a couple of thoughts. I think you are very capable of going into the vocational place and doing exactly what you want. I have some concern that before you do something like this you may need to take care of some of your health issues.
On the other hand I think it would be good if you could heal some of your struggles with your husband by not going a head with your plan. Maybe deep inside of him he is worried about you going into a working situation.
I think he is showing his concern by the commitment he is saying he will do if you don't.
Prayers are continuing and I know you will make the right choice.
Blessings!

Angela said...

You do not share in detail here what goes on in your home Denise..you never have, you have always been honoring and respectful when it come to your husband..Some of us can read between the lines though with things you have shared....I am praying...praying for God's intervention on this..It is SO easy to state..'submit to your husband'...I say..let them walk in the shoes you have been wearing and see how submissive they will be....Father, I am praying for the strongholds, the unhealthy boundaries, the dysfunctional relationship that needs Your healing..that needs Your saving grace and mercy to rest upon it and cause a transformation. I pray for a great hedge of protection around Denise as she has battled against many fierce foes, I pray for a strength to rest upon her to do Your will, to do the right thing, the hard thing, ..getting healthy hurts Father God,...so many stay in sickness because it takes so much more effort to get healthy, mind, body and soul...Father, save my precious sister..this mighty warrior that has stood in the gap for so many....my personal warrior that has walked along side with me these last 5 years...Father, come and show forth Your power and do more than ANY of us could ever ask, imagine or even pray for..amen amen amen

Dee said...

I think he is afraid of losing you. That you will change.