Thursday, March 7, 2013
There is much renewal here at the Oldham home. Last night, Eddie and I had a very long talk, he totally opened up his heart to me, and I totally opened up my heart to him. I shared with him that I felt like every since my stroke, I have been grieving, sad, and deeply hurt. He shared with me that every since my stroke, he has been very angry. I said, every since my stroke, which was in September of 2011, our marriage has been like a huge pot of stew simmering on the stove. The stew contains, hurt, sadness, grief, and much anger. No one has been watching the stew, or stirring it. It boils over constantly, then goes back down. I said, can you imagine how awful it smells by now, and what it must taste like? I said, if we do not confront what is going on in our marriage right now, it is going to be ruined, just like that pot of stew, is that what you want?? He said, no. I said, well, it is time for you to let go of the anger, and time for me to let go of the grief, sadness, and hurt. I told him how very much I love him, and that I will fight for our marriage, always. I told him I was very sorry for hanging onto the sadness, hurt, and grief, and that if my actions, or words, had hurt him in anyway, I was truly sorry. I said, satan loves it when there is trouble in our marriage, he wants to destroy our marriage. I said, God and I love you so much, and we have never left you, we have been right here waiting for you to come back to us. We miss you, and need you. Please come back Eddie, I know you are in there. I know you must be so tired of carrying around all of that anger.Are you truly ready to let go of it? He said, yes I am. I went over on the couch, where he was sitting. I sat down on his lap, and I said, I am letting go right now of the hurt, sadness, and grief. I raised my hands toward heaven, and released those feelings. Then, I took his precious hands in mine, and I said, come on Eddie, on the count of three, we will release your anger together. 1, 2, 3, we raised our hands together toward heaven, and released his anger. Gone!! He pulled me close to him, and we just held each other, saying we loved each other, over, and over. Then, I said a prayer, thanking God for watching over our marriage, and for bringing healing to our marriage. I asked God to forgive me for those negative feelings that I have been carrying around, and Eddie also. I asked God to look into our hearts, please forgive us, and cleanse us. Praise God for answered prayer.