Wednesday, February 27, 2013

When It rains, it pours

Well, things just keep happening. It is raining, and pouring bad news around here.I really need your prayers for my sister. She had to be taken by ambulance Tuesday night to the hospital. She is in intensive care, she has pneumonia, and a very bad kidney infection. Her name is Vicki. I had an appointment with my neurologist, Dr. Devlin. He took care of me when I had my stroke. We had a long talk about how I was feeling. I asked him some questions concerning how I have felt since my stroke. I told him that I felt like a totally different person. He asked about my moods. I told him that I was sad, and felt very lonely. I really opened up, and shared my feelings with him. He is a good Doctor, and a Christian. I told him that my marriage had changed since the stroke. I expressed my feelings about Eddie. Told him that I felt like I was very much a burden to Eddie now. I said, I truly feel when Eddie is cursing at me, yelling at me, and talking down to me, that I should have just died when I had the stroke. So much of the time these days, I feel as if I am just an empty shell inside this body. I never have anything to look forward to except when I know I am going to get to see my little man. Otherwise, nothing. Eddie does not pay any attention to me, except to yell, curse, treat me like a brain damaged woman that had a stroke, or a little kid. Dr, Devlin said, I am definitely suffering from depression, and also, I am going through what is known as a grieving season. Alot of people after they have had a stroke, go through this. He said, it would really be good if I had the love and support of my husband and others. I said, I have the love and support of my friends(all of you, thanks) and my loving Father. On March 21, I go back to see him, and he is going to talk to me about the different depression medicines, and get me started on something. Him, my primary care doctor, and the doctor that treats my diabetes are all concerned about me. I am blessed to have good doctors. But, they all voiced their concerns about me running in the race. I told them it was very important to me, it was something to look forward to.

12 comments:

Annmarie Pipa said...

I am happy to hear you have good doctors taking care of you!

Never Forsaken said...

Hi Denise,

I'm not sure how I missed this post first time I visited earlier.
(seen it on another blog list)

I wish I had some wise words to say that would just make all your troubles go away.
(Oh looky there, I'm a poet and didn't even know it)!

Jesus is a very near and present friend to you, Denise. I can not speak from experience about the problems with your husband, but I am reminded of the promise God makes that Jesus is husband to the husbandless. I think that also applies where the spouse is not taking his role as the helper and protector and spiritual head of the wife.
So, Jesus is your all in all.
I am glad that you have found good and (Christian) doctors. God will leave to stone unturned for you, my friend.
~God bless~ Lisa

Joyful said...

Denise, I'm so glad you have good doctors who care for you. I'm also glad to hear you will soon start on the depression medicine for I believe that will help lift you tot he point where you can cope much better. I also feel you should listen to your doctors about the race. God gives wisdom when we ask. Even tho the race is important to you,it is not wise to do it now in your current physical condition. I seem to recall that last time you were exercising a lot you had another stroke. that might happen again if you push yourself. What I would say is look after yourself, listen to your doctors, believe for your healing and then when you have the green light, you can enter a race. It may be next year or the year after but that is okay. There are still people in their 80s that start training for big races. So it is never too late. God loves you and so do I. Hugs. x

Lisa in Texas = ) said...

Denise~ I am so sorry to hear about how bad things have been since your stroke. I heard something today on the radio and it came to mind when I was reading about your husband. I missed the first half of the program but it was about anger and a man was being very angry at his wife - and June Hunt talked about that it could be present anger - something he was mad about now - or maybe repressed anger - like something else really making him mad. There is a chance that there is something much deeper than you that your husband is angry about. I will continue to pray for your situation. Know that you are loved! Lisa :O)

a woman's diary said...

sorry to hear that denise...when we are not in such possition we might not understand

but i have being thrue enough to now that the only one really loves us is jesus christ..and wow that makes me feel such a blessed person

remembered..when everyone turn the back to us..jesus is and will be always there

i will never leave you or forsake you....remembered that ?

thank you jesus...blessings friend denise

Ashley Barnes said...

Glory to God that you have good doctors! I am also very sorry about your husband. There has to be a deep reason why he treats you the way he does, maybe you two should go to therapy or maybe God is trying to make you stronger with criticism. God takes a lot of stuff from those who don't love Him. But you always have to remember that Jesus loves you and He is humble at heart. Take His yoke and sit in His presence. Praise Him. You have to receive healing in His presence, that's what He's all about. Give your cares to Him because He loves you and thinks you are precious. I think you're precious also.
Love you Denise and I will keep you on my heart ♥

Pia said...

Will keep praying for you, my precious friend.

Dee said...

It is so good that you opened up with your doctor....it will help him in his treatment. I understand their concern about the race...and I understand your need...listen to the Lord and your body. :)

Karen said...

I am praying for you Denise! Love you :)

Sharon said...

I'm glad that the doctor was able to hear your feelings - that is always an important factor in our health. Having battled with depression in my life, I understand what you're feeling. It took me a long time to accept that sometimes I just needed medicine to help me *see the sunshine* again.

God will be with you in this, too.

GOD BLESS!

LeAnn said...

I am so sorry to hear about your sister. I will pray for her too. I do hope you can feel better about everything. Would Eddie meet with a grieving councilor with you. I still feel that he cares he is just grieving, also. He is stuck in the angry stage.
It's just a thought!
Blessings and prayers for you and your sister.

Pam Williams said...

Some times after these traumatic physical problems the chemicals in the brain get out of whack cause depression. It is a very real medical condition that can be treated. Perhaps that is what has happened following your stroke. The meds can be very helpful.