Tuesday, October 23, 2012
On Your Heart Tuesday
Hello everyone, praying you are all doing well. What is on your heart today? My marriage is very much on my heart. It is in need of some major repair. Every since I had my stroke back in September of last year, things have not been the same. Of course, the stroke affected me in several different ways, but it also affected my husband. The stroke did not just happen to me, it happened to us. I have been watching my husband slip away from me. He hardly spends any time with me, and when I try talking to him, I truly feel as if he is ignoring me. Sunday, I told him we really needed to talk, he said ok. I asked him why he was acting so different, I told him I felt like he was a different person since I had my stroke. He said, can I be totally honest with you, I said, of course. He said, every since you had your stroke, I have become different. He said, watching you lay in intensive care for 11 days, hooked up to all of those machines, not knowing if you were going to live or die, was overwhelming to me. He said, I hated seeing you like that. Then, you had to go to rehab for 11 days to learn to walk again, instead of coming home, it really upset me seeing you like that. So, since you have been home, I have been trying to push all of this out of my mind, act like it did not happen. By ignoring you, I do not have to deal with any of this. Then, he raised his voice to me, said a few curse words, and said he did not want to talk about this ever again. My heart hurts so much, and it yearns for my husband. I understand his feelings, and I wish I could go back to last year, and make it be to where I never had a stroke. But, I cannot do that . God is in control of my life, He had reasons for what happened. I praise God for saving my life. Yes, I am not the woman I was before the stroke, but, I am still me. Mrs Eddie Oldham, and so honored to wear that title. God help me to repair the damage that my stroke has caused to my marriage. Give me the tools to use to put everything back together, and pour Your strength into me, so that I can continue on this journey. I will not give up, or give in. I refuse to allow satan to destroy what the master designer created, my marriage.