Tuesday, October 23, 2012

On Your Heart Tuesday

Hello everyone, praying you are all doing well. What is on your heart today? My marriage is very much on my heart. It is in need of some major repair. Every since I had my stroke back in September of last year, things have not been the same. Of course, the stroke affected me in several different ways, but it also affected my husband. The stroke did not just happen to me, it happened to us. I have been watching my husband slip away from me. He hardly spends any time with me, and when I try talking to him, I truly feel as if he is ignoring me. Sunday, I told him we really needed to talk, he said ok. I asked him why he was acting so different, I told him I felt like he was a different person since I had my stroke. He said, can I be totally honest with you, I said, of course. He said, every since you had your stroke, I have become different. He said, watching you lay in intensive care for 11 days, hooked up to all of those machines, not knowing if you were going to live or die, was overwhelming to me. He said, I hated seeing you like that. Then, you had to go to rehab for 11 days to learn to walk again, instead of coming home, it really upset me seeing you like that. So, since you have been home, I have been trying to push all of this out of my mind, act like it did not happen. By ignoring you, I do not have to deal with any of this. Then, he raised his voice to me, said a few curse words, and said he did not want to talk about this ever again. My heart hurts so much, and it yearns for my husband. I understand his feelings, and I wish I could go back to last year, and make it be to where I never had a stroke. But, I cannot do that . God is in control of my life, He had reasons for what happened. I praise God for saving my life. Yes, I am not the woman I was before the stroke, but, I am still me. Mrs Eddie Oldham, and so honored to wear that title. God help me to repair the damage that my stroke has caused to my marriage. Give me the tools to use to put everything back together, and pour Your strength into me, so that I can continue on this journey. I will not give up, or give in. I refuse to allow satan to destroy what the master designer created, my marriage.

22 comments:

Katie said...

I'm so sorry you are in this tough place. You are so right to cling to the truth that God is in control even though you can't understand why things are happening. Praying right now that you feel extra loved today!

Jennifer Peterson said...

Praying for you!!!

Cranberry Morning said...

I will continue to pray with you, Denise, about your marriage. Thank you for being so honest with us so we can pray better. I am sorry that you are hurting. I rejoice at your faithfulness to our Lord, and that you know He has all things in His hands. Blessings, dear sister in Christ.

Beth (A Mom's Life) said...

I'm sure he felt helpless as he watched you go through your stroke and probably had to face the thought of life without you. I think husbands like to feel like they can protect their wives from anything and your stroke made him realize he couldn't.

I will be praying that God uses this stroke to strengthen your marriage and that any damage that it has caused will be repaired.

From the Heart said...

Will be praying for you both. I'ts not easy but God will see you through this.

joy said...

This hurts and I am speechless. But there is power in prayer and holding on to God's promises. We are not giving up.
Way back in the philippines, i lived with a man who mistreated me and abused me, but thanks be yo God, now I am restored and married to a very nice and wonderful man.
We will pray for restoration of your marriage.

Jeanette Levellie said...

Lord Jesus, take my sister's heart in Your big, huge hands and comfort her as only You can. Also pour Your thoughts into her husband's mind, so he is able to talk to her about his fears, and protect their marriage from Satan's darts, in Jesus' name, so be it.

Annmarie Pipa said...

God hears your prayers...for you and your husband.
keep the trust!!
sometimes we have to just trust, even when life doesn't make sense. that is faith.

Lauren Davenport said...

You're in my prayers. Hugs.

Alecia said...

Oh Denise, I'm so sorry your marriage is hurting. You are in my prayers, always. I even love you despite that ugly Alabama banner across the front of your site ;) I'm an Auburn grad and fan, War Eagle!

Mary @ Woman to Woman said...

Oh Denise, my heart hurts for you. I will be praying for both you and your husband. Our husbands want to 'fix' things and I'm sure he's feeling so helpless and angry because this is beyond his control. I praise God for your faith in the One who restores and heals. God bless you, dear sister.

Pam said...

Praying for you, Denise. As hard as the conversation was on Sunday, I pray that God would use it as the beginning of healing for both of you.

elaineolsen@live.com said...

This just breaks my heart, Denise. This is loss. This is grief. It's good to work it out in your heart. I'm praying for both you and Eddie to find your way through the pain.

You are beautiful!

peace~elaine

Pia said...

Denise, there's nothing God can't fix. I know He will fix that too. I just know He will. (((hugs)))

Dina said...

Lord, lift our marriages to the light of your love that we may see and be seen by our spouses through the unconditional love that you model for us.

This is my prayer for you, for my hurting friends in difficult marriages, and for the hurt that is sometimes even in my own. God bless...

Gilligan Maryanne said...

Denise,
I am sending you big hugs and prayers and knowing that God is in charge and that Satan can't come between you both. Let no man destroy what God hath joined together.

Love you!!!

Pamela said...

I'm using your words to pray for you and your marriage. What we can't, God can.

Lea said...

Praying God strengthens your marriage dear friend and that you both move forward together; trusting the Lord on your journey.
I will keep you in my prayers...
You're loved!!

Cathy said...

Praying for you and your marriage, my dear, sweet sister in Christ. Love and Hugs

suzette james said...

Denise,

I do not know you but you stopped by my blog today and now here I am. I pray that God gets a hold of your husbands heart. I pray He breaks through the emotions in your husband that this stroke has brought to light and that He brings healing and the fruit of His Spirit into your marriage. I pray for COMPLETE restoration of your marriage AND your body. I pray for healing for your soul. I pray for strength to endure and that God WILL work out what the devil meant for harm, FOR YOUR GOOD because you love Him. I pray for God to give your husband divine wisdom and revelation and that He guards his heart from the lies and manipulation of the devil that would try to kill, steal and destroy your marriage and leave you with damaged emotions. I pray God gives him strength to care for you as Christ cares for and loves the church. I pray for a deeper level of intimacy with The Lord for the both of you and for each other. I pray God causes him to see past the stroke, what's happened to you and what's happened to him through this process, and remembers the covenant you both made before God in marriage and the love that caused him to make that commitment. I pray God gives you the kind of peace that passes all understanding, covers you with grace and love, gives you a greater measure of faith. I pray He fills you with His power and surrounds you with a huge support of brothers and sisters in Christ who will stand with you and pray with you and push back the powers of darkness.

I wish I could offer you some comfort. I hurt for you. It doesn't seem fair. I pray you will continue to take comfort in God's word and have faith that He is who He says He is and will do what He says He will do.

Thanks for stopping by my blog.

Blessings and love to you, grace and peace.

Saleslady371 said...

So sorry the talk was not more positive. Praying for soft hearts and healing. Love you!

Dee said...

The two of you have been traumatized by your stroke....It may be good that he was able to release a few things to you as painful as it was. Both of you are in my prayers. Healing comes from the Lord...stay in prayer.