Friday, September 28, 2012
Five Minute Friday/Grasp
Lord, I am here, still, and very much in waiting. I went Tuesday evening, and had the MRI/MRA done. I am now, patiently awaiting a call from my Doctor, regarding the results. In the mean time, it has been a whirlwind of a week. My friend Mike passed away Tuesday night after a courageous battle with brain cancer, he was only 49. I went to the visitation last night. It was really bitter sweet for me. A sad event, that brought together several old friends for a wonderful reunion. I needed this gathering of friends, and hearts so badly. More than I realized. We shared tears, laughter, hugs, and more hugs. As I looked around the room, my heart filled to overflowing. Mike, and his dear wife Michelle, shared 27 years of marriage. Eddie, and I will celebrate 28 years of marriage in April 2013. Eddie and I will both turn 49 this year on our birthdays. We share so much in common with Mike and Michelle. I sat there thinking, it could have been me here at this funeral home last September, if not for the grace of God. As I looked at Michelle, and saw how very weary Mike's disease had made her, my heart ached for her. Then, I looked at my beloved husband Eddie, and I saw weariness upon his face, and how he has aged recently. All due to my struggling health problems. God bless him for hanging in here with me, and refusing to give up on me. I appreciate him more than my words could ever express. All of a sudden, it felt like the room was spinning out of control, but, no, it is my life that actually seems to be spinning out of control. With my wonderful friends gathered around, I began to cry. I did not cry out loud, it was a deep, inward cry. My heart was screaming. Why?? Because, I am not the woman they use to know, I have changed in so many ways, and it hurts to know this, to grasp onto this fact. Having diabetes had already lessened my life, and now, with this brain trauma, my life span has been cut down quite a bit. But, you know what? That is ok. All that truly matters, is that my Father is grasping me firmly in the palm of His hand. He is the only one that numbers my days. Whenever my time is up, I will reach out for my Father's hand, smile, and say"Let's Go Daddy. Now, that is something to fully grasp hold to!!