Tuesday, May 1, 2012
On Your Heart Tuesday
Hello sweet friends, praying your week is going well so far. What is on your heart today? My heart is feeling a little heavy today. I have not been feeling well for a couple of weeks now. Intense pain in the back of my head, that nothing relieves. The pain is really bad, makes me cry. I have an appointment this Thursday, will be getting a total head cat scan. On Tuesday, I will see my neurologist to get the results. He is very concerned, so am I. In the back of my head, is where I had my stroke, and also that is where I have a 100% blocked artery. My brain has been swelling every since I had my stroke on September 5th. It will be eight months since my stroke on may 5th, this Saturday. I remember when I was in the hospital in intensive care, every morning at 4 a.m., they would medicate me, and then take me for a total head cat scan. I hated that long ride down the long hallway, into the room where they did the test. It was always so cold in that room, and I hate that machine. It totally scared me, not knowing what it would show. It was never good news, my brain continued to swell. I was so drugged out from the medication they gave me, I really do not remember much, except fear. Well, Thursday, I will not be medicated. In one way, I wish I would be, because I hate it so much, and have such bad memories from it. But, actually, I am glad I will not be medicated, because that means, I can totally focus upon Jesus, and His love, and comfort for me. I am not sure what the results of the test will show, but, I am sure of Jesus, and His promise to never leave, or forsake me. I am holding on tightly to Him, not ever going to let go.