Saturday, January 21, 2012

Words Do Hurt

I remember when I was back in elementary school, and then Junior High school. The kids could be so mean, they constantly made me cry, by making fun of my weight.  When I would go home, still crying, and beg my mom to please not make me go back to school the next day, or ever.  Bless her dear heart, here is what she would always say to me, Nesie, sticks and stones, may break your bones, but words cannot ever hurt you honey. I loved her beyond measure, but she was very wrong.  Those words went straight to my heart, and truly left their mark. That is one of the reasons, that I still have a problem with my self image today.  Since I had my stroke, I have had to deal with the stares of people, when we go out to Walmart, or other places. If I get tired, and have to use one of the wheelchairs, people will look at me as if I am just trying to get attention, crazy!!  I fell in the bathroom one afternoon at Walmart, no one offered to help me, but they sure did stare at me. When I first got home from the hospital, when I would get tired, it would affect my speech, I would talk with very slurred speech. But, recently, it happens nearly all the time, not just when I am tired. I hate it, but I cannot help it. I do not do it on purpose. I go to see my Doctor on Feburary 2nd, I am praying that she will be able to do something about my walking, and talking. What adds to the hurt, Eddie even makes fun of my speech. The first time he did it, I asked him to please not do it anymore, that it really hurts my feelings. Well, he did it again, he likes to look at me, and mimic my talking. He will say, do you like talking in your stroke voice? Of course, I don't.  Believe me my friends, words hurt. I would appreciate your prayers, I love you all.

14 comments:

Debbie said...

I've seen you at Sharon Sharing God so I clicked your name and came for a visit.

You are so very right about words hurting. There are certain things that have been said to me over the course of my life that hide in the back of my mind and pop up at the most random moments. If I could erase them, I would. I've actually prayed for God to erase some, and He has. I'm sorry that you are still being hurt by words and stares. Man can be more vicious than a lion, without so much as lifting a hand, can't he?

Cranberry Morning said...

Of course words hurt. And that's why people use them to cut others down. It is shameful, and I'm sorry this happened to you. It really does affect one's self image, I know. Hopefully you can have a conversation with Eddie to try and make him understand how seriously this affects you. When we were first married, my husband enjoyed teasing me. He thought it was funny. I didn't, for I had just come from a lifetime of being teased by two older brothers. Sometimes people don't mean to be malicious, but it feels that way to us. I'll be praying for you, Denise.

Laurie Collett said...

To this day I sometimes remember the sting of hurtful words from childhood, and since being saved I have wondered how much pain I have thoughtlessly caused with my words. May God use my tongue for comfort and uplifting, not for hurt. When people say or do unkind things, I pray that you will remember that you are perfect in God's sight through the righteousness of His Son, and that He loves you infinitely.
God bless,
Laurie

rcubes said...

The Bible reminds us to always make sure that only those words that will benefit others and build them up or encourage them should come out. Your point should not be taken lightly as you have been honest how much hurtful words do damage deep inside. Praying for your healing from the aftermath of a stroke sister and I pray the Lord will shield you from any hurtful words thrown at you and other circumstances. Take care and God bless. What is wrong now with society? We see a lot of those just staring when they see that someone is in need.

MyJourneyBack said...

I am sorry. I know exactly wat you mean about all of it. Cowboy used the store wheel chair carts when he had knee surgery. He still does ocassionly he lives with almost constant pain. But you can't tell. We got lots of stares and it was embarrasing. I can't believe you fell and no one helped! Say a prayer when you leave that the angel of the Lord go with you and encamp around you. About Eddie all I can say is understand. Similar situation happened here yesterday. I was hurt and mad. I am still hurt. I went to bed mad. Hate to admit it but sometines we need lots of grace when we are really hurt.

Sue said...

I so related to having been called names especially when young, and they do stay with you.
I am so sorry that you are going through this Denise, I am still praying for you.
Hugs,
Sue

Alleluiabelle said...

I love you dear sister.

I always come away from here so encouraged and inspired. You have been through so very much. Words are so damaging and do penetrate deeply right through the very center of our hearts...and right behind that comes our thinking about it all over and over again. It's a nasty cycle and if we are not careful, it will draw us down to the lowest place.

My arms and prayers are strongly wrapped around you and as I have told you before...I've never let go. You are a treasure, a beautiful woman of God. He's put you in the blogging community at this specific time for a reason and I'm so very glad that He did. I value your friendship Denise. Hang in there. Know that we are all praying for you and all of us are here for one another through Him. Isn't that the most beautiful thing? Doesn't that make you smile? He sure does me.

{{{Alleluiabelle}}}

Rebecca said...

I'm sorry. I wish I could DO something specific to help you. I CAN/WILL/DO pray.

Marsha said...

I'm so sorry, my sweet friend. Have you asked Eddie why he wants to hurt you like that? All he went through, you never mocked him, you supported him. I'm praying right now that Eddie will be convicted of his unloving way.

Denise, God calls you names, too. Beloved. My child. Chosen one.Redeemed. Precious. Vessel of Honor. Complete in Him. Perfect. Just to name a few.

I love you very much.

Peggy said...

My precious sister Nesie...
(honored to call you this);

Words are powerful...words do hurt and replaying them in your mind... or someone else repeating the message; just makes it worse... SO HIT THE DELETE button and remember what GOD CALLS YOU and says about you... my dear little lamb...

I love what Marsha wrote (thanks Marsha)!!! This is what you need to wrap around you, your heart, and your mind.

I too ask that Eddie would be convicted of what he is doing unkindly... the others in public (God help them) need a whooping and a lesson in courtesy... I can't believe how anyone can be so cruel. I agree that Eddie must remember how you were such a support to him as he was impacted by his medical situation...all he went through, you were there in your encouraging way. This hurts me most of all because
you always share such wonderful things about Eddie, I know that he knows what 1 Corinthians 13 love says... and he knows that he is wounding you and you have asked him to stop... so please...

God shield Denise, protect and guard her heart, and help Eddie to speak words of kindness and realize what he is doing and the harm he is doing and hurting, cutting deep into his precious wife's heart. He knows Denise's sensitive spirit and I ask that You speak to Eddie powerfully to convict him and stop this in Jesus name. I pray mercy and forgiveness be released, and repentance that stops selfish words and acts not of You, piercing the heart of my wounded friend and sister. Abba, wrap Denise in Words of love and embraces of soft kindness and closeness, understanding and
empathy for her health and healing as You bring this about... Thank You, Father, that Denise was confident and willing to share this publicly so others could share and support and PRAY for her with a better understanding of all she is dealing with... bring an extra portion of Favor and pour a fresh anointing over Denise from the top of her head, flowing all through her, with Your healing love and grace... right to the bottom of her sweet toes, remind her how you see her as Your Beloved, beautiful,
accepted, chosen, apple of Your eye... You are called, irreplaceable, strong, delightful, HIS Friend and His Messenger, His temple,
His Light, His Precious Child, Valuable, Redeemed, Victorious, fearfully and wonderfully made...

I love you, beautiful sister and I'm so pleased that you have come forward right here on your blog, admitted your human weaknesses and your beloveds... I know you love Lovebug dearly and for this reason, these tauntings and teasing pierce your heart. It's a vicious cycle but we break this over you and Lovebug in Jesus name...and also put a guard on your heart not to see the ignorant looks or words of others... and a bit in the mouths to hold the tongues of those that curse you or hurt you. May God constantly
stir His Words in Your heart
each time others hurtful words try to take you down, or harm you, we ask for God to deliver you from evil and continue to put a complete hedge of love, protection, provision, healing, restoration and MIRACLES galore...as you step forward and breathe His life washing over you with a bountiful love for His beautiful daughter... and Princess.

I love you bunches,
Peggy

Sharon said...

Oh Denise. My heart just breaks at this post. You are such a sweet heart, and I know the power of words - they do indeed leave wounds that hurt much more than the physical ones. I was teased a lot growing up, was the victim of mean nicknames - and the scars still linger.

I'm praying that you will be flooded with the kind, gentle, healing WORDS of our Lord - He loves you so very much.

Let His wounds bandage yours. Let His love comfort your brokenness.

(Praying for Eddie, too. May he learn to be more sensitive...)

And by the way, I don't care what your voice sounds like - even though I've never heard it in person, I know it is a beautiful voice - full of gentle love.

GOD BLESS!

Pia said...

it does hurt, denise. you're right. but always remember that God is FOR you and therefore NO ONE can be against you. i'm sorry to hear that people don't give you a helping hand when you need one at the store or anywhere else. i know how stares from people can sometimes make you feel very insecure. but denise, you are very special. you are special to so many of us. you are very special in the eyes of God. He is our defender. tell yourself in the mirror that you are special and God says you are. eventually nothing these people can say or do will affect you anymore because you know who you are in Christ.

denise, i know how you feel because people can sometimes be very mean and insensitive. you can't control what they will say or do but you can control how you'd feel. know in your heart and mind that you are beautiful inside and out. God made you and you are beautiful.

we love you, denise.

Peggy said...

Forgive me Denise!

You're right,Words do hurt!

I'm so sorry for hurting you, you have enough to deal with... Forgive me, Denise.

Love,
Peggy

Ika Devita Susanti said...

Oh sister, I need to grab my tissues. They are so mean. It hurts me so much to hear you being hurt by them. They do not know what they are doing, sister.

You have a big heart, sis Denise, I know you do. God loves you very much and I believe that it's not his purpose to make you hurt. He doesn't want you to get hurt.

Here is what I remember every time people make me upset. "When things go wrong, just remember one thing that God sees everything from above and God feels it too in our heart. God is faithful and righteous. He knows what he is doing. Leave every thing in His hand and He will lead the way"

Don't let the other steal your joy, sister. Remember that many people here love you and we will pray for you no matter where we are.

I love you, sis Denise.

Hugs,