Saturday, January 21, 2012
Words Do Hurt
I remember when I was back in elementary school, and then Junior High school. The kids could be so mean, they constantly made me cry, by making fun of my weight. When I would go home, still crying, and beg my mom to please not make me go back to school the next day, or ever. Bless her dear heart, here is what she would always say to me, Nesie, sticks and stones, may break your bones, but words cannot ever hurt you honey. I loved her beyond measure, but she was very wrong. Those words went straight to my heart, and truly left their mark. That is one of the reasons, that I still have a problem with my self image today. Since I had my stroke, I have had to deal with the stares of people, when we go out to Walmart, or other places. If I get tired, and have to use one of the wheelchairs, people will look at me as if I am just trying to get attention, crazy!! I fell in the bathroom one afternoon at Walmart, no one offered to help me, but they sure did stare at me. When I first got home from the hospital, when I would get tired, it would affect my speech, I would talk with very slurred speech. But, recently, it happens nearly all the time, not just when I am tired. I hate it, but I cannot help it. I do not do it on purpose. I go to see my Doctor on Feburary 2nd, I am praying that she will be able to do something about my walking, and talking. What adds to the hurt, Eddie even makes fun of my speech. The first time he did it, I asked him to please not do it anymore, that it really hurts my feelings. Well, he did it again, he likes to look at me, and mimic my talking. He will say, do you like talking in your stroke voice? Of course, I don't. Believe me my friends, words hurt. I would appreciate your prayers, I love you all.