Wednesday, January 12, 2011
Some people may feel that I share way too much of my life on my blog, and for those of you who do feel that way, I am sorry. But, I choose to allow the Light of the world to shine upon my life, instead of staying in the darkness, alone with my troubles. I truly believe that my Father wants me to share not only the good times in my life, but the struggles as well. Now, having said that, here is my story, or confession, or whatever you may choose to call it. I am in a major battle with my body. The last few months have really taken a toll on me, physically, I have been very sick. Nauseous constantly, throwing up, cannot keep any food down, painful stomach. Finally, lovebug took me to the emergency room, and they kept me. I had several infections in my stomach, I am home now. I have done this to myself, why? Because I want to lose weight, and be smaller. Right now, I weigh 132, which is smaller than I have been my entire life. But, in my eyes, I have so much more to lose to be small. I still see the woman I was when I weighed 258 pounds. My dad says, you have lost quite a bit, but you could stand to lose some more. My dear mom always wanted me to be skinny. Lovebug has a wife with no hair, no eyebrows, and overweight. I want him to find something attractive about me. Wow, satan has been on me big time. Life is not perfect, and I know I am far from perfect. I am a daughter of the King, saved by His grace. This is a full blown battle, but I am prepared to face it head on now. God is on my team, which means, I am on the winning team. God loves me, as I am. I say that everyday, over and over. Pushing the world's message about my body image out, and replacing it with my Father's voice. I can, and will, do all things through Christ, Who gives me strength. Onward my friends, thanks for listening. Your continued love and precious prayers would be very much appreciated. I have missed you all very much. Please email me if you need prayer. My email address is firstname.lastname@example.org I love you all.