My heart has been in a crazy place this week. As most of you know by now, I had to go to court on Monday. Praise God, everything worked out. I am also feeling much better physically. But, emotionally, things have been not so good. My dad took me to court on Monday, because lovebug had to work. He had not spoken to me since the incident happened regarding the pyramid scheme. Well, I could tell, he was still not happy with me, and he made that very clear. When he treats me this way, it really hurts. I feel as if I will never measure up in his eyes, he makes me once again realize that he did not want me born in the first place. He kept saying over and over again, you do not have anything, nor will you ever. You know you screw up, and you know you will again. So, after hearing these words all the way to the courthouse, and all the way back home, I get home totally stressed out. I begin to hear the words of satan pounding loudly upon the door of my heart, and in my ears. I figured he was ready to use all of his weapons, and I was right. The words from hell began to ring loudly in my ears: Denise, you know you were an attempted abortion, get a clue, you were not wanted from the very beginning of your pathetic life. You are a waste of life, you are just a sickly, ugly, going blind, no count woman. Go sit in the corner, have a major meltdown, and just disappear. Nobody cares. Well, those words cut deeply, hurt me badly, made me cry from deep within. Huge drops of tears were flowing from my weary eyes. But then, I reached way up, up toward the throne of my true Father. I raised my eyes toward where my redemption draws near. I called upon His precious name, as always. Mercy came running, I felt His arms around me, pulling me close to Him. My Abba had come to my rescue once again, and the enemy had ran away once again, taking his lies with him. I was meant to be here, my Father loves me, just the way I am. I belong totally to Him. I refuse to go away, or disappear. I have work to do for my Father, and that is what I am going to do. I rebuke you satan, and all of your lies. Get far behind me, you cannot steal my joy. Thank You once again for the rescue 911 Father. I love You.