Thursday, August 19, 2010

Thankful Thursday


My heart has been in a crazy place this week. As most of you know by now, I had to go to court on Monday. Praise God, everything worked out. I am also feeling much better physically. But, emotionally, things have been not so good. My dad took me to court on Monday, because lovebug had to work. He had not spoken to me since the incident happened regarding the pyramid scheme. Well, I could tell, he was still not happy with me, and he made that very clear. When he treats me this way, it really hurts. I feel as if I will never measure up in his eyes, he makes me once again realize that he did not want me born in the first place. He kept saying over and over again, you do not have anything, nor will you ever. You know you screw up, and you know you will again. So, after hearing these words all the way to the courthouse, and all the way back home, I get home totally stressed out. I begin to hear the words of satan pounding loudly upon the door of my heart, and in my ears. I figured he was ready to use all of his weapons, and I was right. The words from hell began to ring loudly in my ears: Denise, you know you were an attempted abortion, get a clue, you were not wanted from the very beginning of your pathetic life. You are a waste of life, you are just a sickly, ugly, going blind, no count woman. Go sit in the corner, have a major meltdown, and just disappear. Nobody cares. Well, those words cut deeply, hurt me badly, made me cry from deep within. Huge drops of tears were flowing from my weary eyes. But then, I reached way up, up toward the throne of my true Father. I raised my eyes toward where my redemption draws near. I called upon His precious name, as always. Mercy came running, I felt His arms around me, pulling me close to Him. My Abba had come to my rescue once again, and the enemy had ran away once again, taking his lies with him. I was meant to be here, my Father loves me, just the way I am. I belong totally to Him. I refuse to go away, or disappear. I have work to do for my Father, and that is what I am going to do. I rebuke you satan, and all of your lies. Get far behind me, you cannot steal my joy. Thank You once again for the rescue 911 Father. I love You.

38 comments:

Mylene said...

I am so sorry Denise. I really hope the Lord will touch your father's heart to leave you alone. If he can't positive words to you, may the Lord just keep his lips close.

Indeed, our Lord is our rescuer all the time.

Joan said...

Denise - as you know I'm taking a short blogging break, but have been keeping up with posts in Google reader. When I read this, I had to come over and leave a comment.

Precious sister, you are fearfully and wonderfully made. You are no accident - our God has plans for you! Don't listen to Satan's lies.

Your Heavenly Father cares deeply for you, as do many others.

Rejoice in that knowledge today!

Love,
Joan

Nana Jul said...

Denise,

Isn't God so Good, He rescues us from our stinkin thinkin! He pulls us up from the pit! He stoops down to hold us, and He wipes away our tears. Thank you Jesus for being our comforter...our shelter from the storm. Thank you for reaching down from Heaven to Hold Denise in your tender loving arms!
Phil 4:6-7
Let Him tell you your worth!! More precious than Gold, or silver!

Keep Looking at Jesus!
Love
Julie

shopannies said...

Our heavenly father has a plan for you God Bless you for recognizing that. I am glad that all went well for you in court. Your post was a true witness to the love of our heavenly father

Alicia said...

The enemy is here to steal, kill, and destroy. I'm so glad you didn't listen to his lies, Denise. You are precious in God's eyes!!

Shelby said...

Denise, you are so precious. Precious to our Abba Daddy and precious to those of us who see your heart.

Love you.

Beth (A Mom's Life) said...

Denise, Always run from the Devil and his wicked ways. Run straight into the arms of the Lord. Please don't feel like you weren't supposed to be here. If anything, I think the fact that you were a failed abortion means that you are SUPPOSED to be here. God has special work for you to do. Work that Satan knows will be used to build up God's kingdom - that's why he's working so hard to keep you down. I will be praying for you today.

Cranberry Morning said...

I praise God, Denise, that He always reminds you of just who you belong to. You're a child of the King of the Universe, much-loved and precious. Rejoice.

It has to be hard to continually battle condemnation, but praise God for the family of believers who lift you up in prayer.

God bless your day, Denise!

Raise Them Up said...

What a wonderful testimony of God's faithfulness! You've been a special part of his plan since the beginning of time. Remind yourself of that often. :)

Hugs

Martianne said...

There was a time when I quit cheerleading years ago and my dad said, "My daughters aren't quitters; you are not my daughter." It hurt. we healed and our relationship got stronger than before. I wish you similar healing...

You are a devout, prayerful person who God loves no matter what your dad says or feels. Know that AND KNOW OTHERS PRAY FOR YOU.

Beautiful pear tree lane said...

Oh! Denise, how satan did lie to you as he does to all of us, for you are more precious than you will ever know.
Not only does our Heavenly Father love YOU and your dear Love Bug, but all of us here in blogland that knows you do. You are one of the sweetest, kindest, thoughtful, giving, loving,heart for God (do I need to go on) person I have ever known. You have been and continually minister to us all.
God loves your dad, and he wants a heart change for him, I will be praying for him,
Much love to you today my dear friend.
Hugs,
Sue

Debbie said...

Denise, do not listen to the lies of the enemy. You are loved and chosen by the One and Only Living God. You are His child and special to Him.

One Heart said...

I am glad you cried out to your heavenly Father and His mercy came running. You are an amazing woman of God who blesses me more than you know. You just continue to know who you are in Christ and stand on His Word knowing that no matter what weapons are formed against you, CHRIST IS GREATER. I know how painful it must be to hear a loved one speak those words, but you know, look at it from a different angle. Look at it from the eyes of compassion which Christ is looking at your dad through. He himself most likely needs a lot of healing, so his words come from the abundance of his heart. I will keep him in my prayers too. I am sure you pray for him with that HUGE heart of love and grace which just pours out of you. You are indeed a blessing Denise.

Love you!

partialemptynester said...

You are so beautiful...when I think of you I see pinks, purples, and all the colors in between, arms spread before the Lord, heart wide-open, and a smile (a killer smile) that in turn makes me smile even bigger! God's made beauty from ashes in your heart, girl, and you are spreading it all over the blogworld, you are!

Have a wonderfully Thankful Thursday!

Stacey said...

Oh Denise. I am so sorry you are going through this trial. How great is our Lord that He speedily came to your rescue. I praise Him for creating such a beautiful child. You ARE His precious daughter and ARE fearfully and wonderfully made. The devil is a liar and he has no authority over you and your thoughts. In the mighty and matchless name of JESUS, I claim the victory over you Denise. You are more than a conqueror. You are covered by the blood of the lamb and you are the righteousness of Jesus. Love you, sister. Stand firm. God is with you!

Joshlin said...

You are so blessed and the fact that you see God has a plan for you and He wanted you on this Earth speeks volumes. Never give up and always know your loved!

Donna @ The House on the Corner said...

Denise - echoing what has been said previously; God has a plan for you. He saved you. How many of us have such graphic examples of God interceeding on their behalf. HE saved you. HE meant for you to be here. As the scripture says....if HE is for us, who can be against us!!! Don't ever forget that!! Everytime the enemy whispers in your ear - your next immedate thought should be HE SAVED ME ~ HE IS FOR ME!!!!

Tea with Tiffany said...

I'm so sorry about the battle. I wish we were closer we'd fight the good fight together with prayer and praise. I'm hugging you. Love u

Karen said...

Amen for another rescue from the ONE who chose YOU...to be His beautiful daughter...

One day your earthly dad's eyes will be opened and he will see...all he has missed...

I love you...and am so sorry you were hurt so badly...but oh...the victory is so sweet when it comes...

Whidbey Woman said...

Its been a tough week for you, but you know where your strength comes from! I am sorry that you have been hurt, and continue to be hurt by your earthly father. Stand firm. Continue to be who you are in Christ. That will be a witness to him. God bless.

cHe said...

wow i am so blown away reading your post denise, still God is great God of comforts and grace and his mercy endures forever!!!

Serendipity said...

Denise, you are the apple of His eyes, and precious to all of us. Don't ever think otherwise! Big hugs and love from me and Happy.

Rocks said...

Denise, you are SPECIAL!!! and the Lord loves you more than anyone does :)

Eventually, everything will be alright..((hugs))

Cathy said...

Bless your sweet heart, Dear. That is horrible. You are precious in His sight and mine. God has good plans for you, and He is your hope. Of course you know all that. Love and Hugs ~

Lisa said...

Denise,
You are very valuable to me and don't ever believe the words of satan. You are very precious, compassionate, loving, trusting, humble....I could go on and on with all kinds of words that describe you. My kids love you too.
Especially Emily who enjoyed your birthday wishes.

sarah said...

I'm so sorry too Denise that you had to go through that. But am thankful for your strength....in Him. and that you know we are more than victorious. Stay strong ok...

Lily said...

I stopped by from Fearless Friday. I am praying for you. God bless and be well.

luvmy4sons said...

Oh sweet sister. I am so very sorry. I am so grateful that you were ministered by our loving heavenly Father. How miserable your earthly father must be inside for all of that to spew forth from his mouth. Nothing can change who we forever are in Christ! Love you!

Donetta said...

funny thing is...your dad is speaking what HE sees in the mirror.

children will get really angry some times when they don't get what they want
reactive they will either
anger over loss
or
ambivalent they manipulate

I do not recall what court was about. But the testimony we give actually has real power.

Rebecca said...

I've been catching up with you! Didn't realize how much I missed. Thanking God for comforting, rewarding, keeping, and protecting you!

becky aka theRAV said...

As always thank you for your sweet comment. So glad you love what I write about my life and it makes you smile. Then I have done my good deed for the day. It makes me feel good that you want to read my boring life! LOL You amaze me!

Dianne said...

If I could bear part of your pain, I would. Thank you for coming over to my blog.

Love in Christ,
Dianne

Jerrie said...

You are so beautiful. Reading through this post made me think..how would I deal with a father like this?..and to see you run to THE FATHER was inspiring and so beautiful. I felt your pain as my own mother did not want me to be born and the release of so much baggage when we realize that God wanted us here. He saw me before I was born and loved me. So the fact that I am here is proof that my FATHER wanted me and that's always going to be enough!!! So glad you stopped by my blog today so I could get to know you too :) God bless you sister.

Dianne said...

If I could bear part of your pain, I would. Thank you for coming over to my blog.

Love in Christ,
Dianne

godcrazzzy said...

you were never a mistake. The devil is a liar. He is the father of lies. You are chosen, special and called of God. May Jesus continue to be ur guide and strength. bless u

Anne Lang Bundy said...

Denise ~

I'm so glad that you know where to look for comfort, between your Abba's arms and the love of your dear ones. We endure fierce cruelty for the sake of the Lord Jesus, because when you return love and grace to an attacker, you radiate light in spiritual places.

Your Father in Heaven must know how brightly you're able to shine for Him to trust you to go into such a dark alley of hatred. He sees. He remembers. He will return exceedingly abundant joy above all you can hope or imagine for every lash.

You are inspiring the rest of us. Your Father in Heaven is using you for His glory in a magnificent way.

I love you and I'm praying for you.

~ Anne
.

Bernadine said...

So sorry that this happened to you. So glad that you were able to find comfort in the arms of your heavenly father.

Connie Arnold said...

I'm so sorry for the sadness in your life, Denis, but you have gloriously risen above it in the love and strength of the Lord and are a shining inspiration to others. Your life is abundantly important, and you are loved by many in addition to God!