I found this book to be on par with John Gray’s Men are From Mars; Women are from Venus book. Dr. Eggerichs discusses the differences between men and women and how each needs to be more in touch with what the other one needs. When men attempt to treat their wives as they would want to be treated, they inevitably end up doing the “wrong” thing and when women attempt to love their husband as they want to be loved, they also do the “wrong” thing. If you are a Christian, you will be pleased that Dr. Eggerichs bases his book on Biblical scriptures. If you do not consider yourself a religious person, I don’t believe the scripture verses take anything away from the message.
Dr. Eggerichs mainly focuses on the woman’s need for love and the man’s corresponding need for respect. He says that there is a “Crazy Cycle” where when men feel disrespected, they withdraw their love from the relationship and when women feel unloved, they withdraw their respect from the relationship. In relationships where this cycle has been raging, it is difficult to find someone willing to break the cycle because he or she finds it hard to believe that if the husband is more loving toward his wife, she will respond with less criticism and more respect. Similarly, if the wife is more respectful toward her husband, he will respond with more loving behavior.
Dr. Eggerichs calls this the “Energizing Cycle” and he supports it with very specific behaviors each gender must use. He says women need C-O-U-P-L-E, while husbands need C-H-A-I-R-S. Yes, these are acronyms for spelling love to the wife and respect to the husband. All of what he says appears to be in line with what I believe is true of the majority of men and women in relationships. I found this book to be very helpful.