Sunday, August 23, 2009

Book Review- Love And Respect




I found this book to be on par with John Gray’s Men are From Mars; Women are from Venus book. Dr. Eggerichs discusses the differences between men and women and how each needs to be more in touch with what the other one needs. When men attempt to treat their wives as they would want to be treated, they inevitably end up doing the “wrong” thing and when women attempt to love their husband as they want to be loved, they also do the “wrong” thing. If you are a Christian, you will be pleased that Dr. Eggerichs bases his book on Biblical scriptures. If you do not consider yourself a religious person, I don’t believe the scripture verses take anything away from the message.
Dr. Eggerichs mainly focuses on the woman’s need for love and the man’s corresponding need for respect. He says that there is a “Crazy Cycle” where when men feel disrespected, they withdraw their love from the relationship and when women feel unloved, they withdraw their respect from the relationship. In relationships where this cycle has been raging, it is difficult to find someone willing to break the cycle because he or she finds it hard to believe that if the husband is more loving toward his wife, she will respond with less criticism and more respect. Similarly, if the wife is more respectful toward her husband, he will respond with more loving behavior.
Dr. Eggerichs calls this the “Energizing Cycle” and he supports it with very specific behaviors each gender must use. He says women need C-O-U-P-L-E, while husbands need C-H-A-I-R-S. Yes, these are acronyms for spelling love to the wife and respect to the husband. All of what he says appears to be in line with what I believe is true of the majority of men and women in relationships. I found this book to be very helpful.


8 comments:

Joyfulsister said...

Hi Sis,
This sounds like a really interesting read. I need to finish up the one I have, and then I will check this one out!! Thanks for the reviews.

Have a Happy Sunday!!!

Hugz Lorie

luvmy4sons said...

Scripture exhorts husbands to love their wives and women to respect their husbands. It is SO SO important to show our husbands respect! Sounds like a great book. Thanks for reviewing it. I need to get this one!

Laureen said...

I'll try to find this book in christtian bookstores.Thanks!

Gretchen said...

Agree with your review, and find my self needing to revisit the acronyms and the book, as it's been a long time since i've picked it up. Another read I've heard of (haven't read it yet) is Men are Like Waffles/Women are Like Spaghetti.

Shelby said...

"In relationships where this cycle has been raging, it is difficult to find someone willing to break the cycle because he or she finds it hard to believe that if the husband is more loving toward his wife, she will respond with less criticism and more respect. Similarly, if the wife is more respectful toward her husband, he will respond with more loving behavior."

This is so completely true! I'm seeing it now in my marriage. After all the time I spent praying for my husband to change, what it took to change my marriage was for ME to change.

Great review, now there's another book I want to read... the stack's gettin' bigger! :-)

bp said...

Thanks for your review, I've not read anything by this author.

I appreciate your prayers for Orion.

Lea said...

How interesting. Women- love, men-respect. It is definintely biblical! I feel so blessed because I HAVE a man I highly respect. I really can't imagine being married to a man that I didn't respect but alot of wives are.

Thanks for sharing your thoughts on this book Denise! Looks like a good read.
Lea

Allison said...

Brian and I both really love this book and it's principles - we have the workbook too!!! I also really like "Created to be His Help Meet" and "Fascinating Womanhood" - they are hard to get into at first because the ideas seem difficult and old fashioned, but believe me, they work!