Wednesday, July 1, 2009

Wednesday's Walk Down Memory Lane

Hello everyone, it is time to share another memory. I remember when I was in elementary school, the kids always made fun of me, due to the fact I was overweight. Their endless teasing really hurt me. But, what hurt even more, was I knew when I went home, it would be even worse. My older brother Jim, who was 16 at the time, gathered his friends around me, and the torture would really begin. They called me every name you could think of, pushed me down, sang fat songs to me, laughed, laughed, and laughed. I cried, cried, cried. The harder I cried, the more they laughed. I was their daily entertainment. At the time, my momma was working. They threatened me if I dared to think about telling on them. This daily humilation, did nothing for my self confidence. I already hated myself, this just intensified that hate. I grew up hating myself more and more. I praise God that He changed all of that, He made me worthy. My brother has never cared about me, still doesn't to this very day. He has told everyone, that if something happens to me, he does not want to be bothered. He did not even speak to me at our mother's funeral back in 2006. Last June, our oldest brother passed away, he spoke to me for a few moments, my dad told him to. There has been nothing since. I love him, always have, and always will. I pray for him, and will never stop. I have put all of this in the very capable hands of my heavenly Father. May He have His way, and will.

19 comments:

Angela said...

((((hugs))) I greatly appreciate your sharing from the heart like this. I get sad when reading it, but also rejoice in the Lord's goodness upon your life. How He has brought so much healing in the midst of the pain that you have experienced in your life. You truly are such a beautiful crown of splendor girl in His right hand. I love you my precious sister.

Debbie said...

Denise, I am overwhelmed by your love. The only way you could love your brother is that Jesus loves him through you. I want to reach out to you and comfort you, my friend. Do you know what a special person you are? When God looks at you ...He sees Jesus. It doesn't get much better than that. Love you.

Kristin said...

I am so sorry that you had to endure that, even at home which is supposed to be your sanctuary from that kind of stuff. Thank goodness that the Lord is our sanctuary, no matter what.

Kathryn said...

Bless your precious heart.

I've been having issues with one of my sisters recently. Those old wounds can hurt for such a long time.

I'm so sorry that this is ongoing for you. But i'm thankful you've a loving Daddy to take all that pain & hurt to. I pray that he blesses you thru it. And that your loving prayers will be answered. :)

Kari said...

You're a strong lady. Your prayers will touch him, even if it doesn't seem like it now. You are a witness to him of God's Love. Thank you for sharing today.

luvmy4sons said...

One day He will make all things new..even relationships. I pray that before your brother dies there can be healing between you and his heart can be touched by the maste. You are greatly loved..and I am glad that God ministers to you an that you find it in your heart to love...you choose love! That is awesome!

Lynnette Kraft said...

Bless your heart. I'm so sorry to hear all of that. I do praise God that you've allowed Him to heal you of those pains of childhood (and it sounds like adulthood too). We won't always be loved on this earth, but someday when we enter heaven, it will be pure bliss! No more pain, no more tears...only peace and joy forever!

Thanks for sharing your heart today. Sounds like your brother needs Jesus in his life.

Linda said...

Denise, I am so sorry that your brother hurt you with his cruel words when you were growing up. I am sorry that he continues to hurt you by not speaking to you.

I am so glad that you have the Lord, and that you love your brother. I am sure you pray for him. I like how you just intrust all of this to Jesus and that you seem to be handling it all by His power and strength.

I am sorry about your heart ache and loss.

May our wonderful Lord give you all the love you need, and may you always be blessed by Him.

Love, Linda @ Truthful Tidbits

Beautiful Pear Tree Lane said...

Hi Denise,
Thank you for sharing this heartfelt memory, Isn't it amazing what God can do to heal the wounds in our life, and God has certainly done a wonderful healing in you so much so that you have been able to show how God can take this pain away and make us whole again How awesome is that! I think it is so wonderful that you can proclaim your love for your brother after everything, this only lets me know what a great God we serve and what He can do in our lives. You are so inspiring to me.

I will put him on my prayer list, and ask God to restore what the enemy has taken away! .My God is in the restoring business, I was just thinking today :What is impossible with man is possible with God."
Blessings to you my dear sweet friend.
Sue

RCUBEs said...

Sister Denise, sorry to hear you had to endure that from your own brother, especially. I'm glad that you came to know the Lord's love and grace and forgiveness. May the Lord restore your relationship with your brother. Loving him is still the best thing you can do. I had a brother too [I have 5 and I'm the youngest and the only girl] who just didn't like being around me, growing up. When I visited my dad in 2007, he called me and over the phone had asked for my forgiveness. I told him I forgave him long time ago. And I thank the Lord for His gift of restoration, of mending broken relationships. And I pray that for you right now. In Jesus' Name. Love you sister.

Gretchen said...

My heart hurts when I read this, Denise.

But God.

Thank you once again for showing how faithful He is in your life.

Genejosh said...

Thanks for sharing..It makes me cry on the way you deal with this past.. I'm so blessed of how great is your love for your brother..God bless you my friend..Thanks for always visiting me and leaving messages. I do visit here but seldom left messages due to my tight schedule..

See you around...

God bless you!
Our Adventure's Together/
Her and History/
Tasty Exploration

Daphine said...

May the Lord continue to heal your hurting heart friend! You are such a srong and mighty woman of God, Denise! Thanks for always sharing and being so transparent. God's continued blessing upon you dear friend!

Love Bears All Things said...

The sad part is that even though we have forgiven our accusers, the memory does not fade. So many of us used food for comfort. It is a pattern of behavior that is hard to break. I'm so happy you've been able to forgive your brother. His ill feelings toward you are his loss because you are a beautiful person.
Daughter and I talked a little about her experience with "mean girls". She was not overweight but was very intelligent and resented because of it. She remembers that I let her stay home from school after such an incident. Her Dad was afraid I was teaching her to shirk responsibility but it didn't affect her grades and she went on to college and holds down a full time
job today.
I remember similar experience with self esteem. I was overweight, also. I'm so happy to know that I was uniquely created and am considered beautiful by my Heavenly Father.
Bless you,
Mama Bear

Samantha said...

May the Lord continue to heal these painful memories and bless your heart sweet Denise.
Praying for you, bless you dear one.

Shelby said...

Denise, I don't think I have ever known ANYone with a heart like yours. Your capacity for forgiveness and love just blows me away. If, like I talked about in one of my posts, we are the only opportunity some people might ever have to know Jesus, you certainly exemplify the principles He taught.

God bless you.

Laureen said...

I can relate with your post.Whenever I misbehave and make my mom angry when I was a child she keeps on telling me that they just saw me from the trash.For that I grew up to be insecure and bitter but thank God we both came to know Christ and became best friends.....

Caroline said...

I am just amazed at your positivity always. You truly are an example. Thank you!

Caroline said...

I just also wanted to add, you truly are a reflection of Jesus!