Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Thankful Thursday-Life


My life has been a wild roller coaster ride for the last two years. Taking care of my momma, watching her fade away. Finding her the day the Lord took her home. Spiraling into the deep dark pit of depression after her death, becoming a cutter to ease my pain. But, God brought me out of that pit, cleaned me up, healed my wounds, and set my feet firmly on solid ground. Then, last year, my diabetes began to wage war on my body. First, it took aim at my vision, leaving me legally blind, and fighting to keep my vision. It then targeted my heart, filling it with 4 blockages. It has also damaged my stomach, and kidneys. But, God is my true physician, and watches over me daily. Then, 3 weeks ago this coming Sunday, my big brother passed away. Once again, my life started spinning out of control, filled with sadness&grief. On top of that, old wounds from my dad were opened. He once again made it very clear, that he does not accept me, or want me in his life. Throw in on top of all these events, losing my hair to thyroid disease. Do I feel like screaming? Giving up? Never getting out of bed again? Of course, those thoughts cross my mind, I am only human after all. But, I will not give up. I am very grateful for the life that God has blessed me with. He loves me, and teaches me such beautiful lessons out of all the painful times. I would not be the woman that I am, if it were not for all that I have overcome. Thank You Father God, my pain has made me stronger.

39 comments:

Gina's Public Diary said...

Denise,
You have been through so very much.
You have a wonderful attitude. Praying for you.

Annie said...

I'm thankful for Rich Mullins. Thanks for Stuff of Earth, it's my very favorite.

I'm sorry you've got a lot of stuff going on. You will be in my prayers.

Serendipity said...

Hi Denise, I really do admire you for you are one strong woman! Keep your eyes on Jesus! My thoughts and prayers go to you!

On another note, just wanted to share with you that my mom is a diabetic too. Lately it has been one rough rollercoaster ride when she's bedridden with her sugar level up to 20 and all the anxiety of a possible stroke. It doesn't help at all when you hear of all the negative medical views. But I'm so thankful for the comfort of God's presence and encouragment for me in handling it. My mom's not really out of the woods yet but nevertheless I'm able to handle it by God's grace.

I know you are too.

Pia said...

yes, God is our physician. may you be touched by his healing hands and recover fully like you've never been sick before. i do believe that this is God's will for you. be blessed!

luvmy4sons said...

That IS an awful lot. You are being held. Held by the Savior who knows pain and suffering and is not foreign to the body of weakness that we live in. He will sustain you. I am encouraged by your faith in that! Hugs to you.

Cheryl said...

You are such a blessing to others Denise! Thanks for sharing your heart. God Bless~

Allison said...

As always, you are such an inspiration to us - we love you!
~*~Allison & Brian~*~

Love Bears All Things said...

He promised that we would not be burdened with more than we could endure. I know sometimes it must seem that you are being tested more than others. You are blessing others by your faith in the midst of the trials. Bless your heart and health.
Mama Bear

Bernadine said...

I'm always inspired by the fact that you seek to see Christ in every situation you go through.

debbiewhitlock said...

The last 4 yrs has been hard like that on me also. I feel what you are going through. But you are strong and can make it. Their is real joy around the corner.

Have a great day!

mamasmurf said...

Denise,
You are truly an inspiration to me! I too feel that my pain has made me stronger - praying for you, sweetheart!
~Chrissy

Laurie Ann said...

Denise, God bless you for being faithful and for being able to thank God, even when life is hard, to say the least! You've been through it, girl, but I can definitely see God shining through you. Happy TT!

genny said...

I felt what you feel my dear i have also lots of things going on. From helping my mom, uncle, aunt, brod and sis and my own home. Its really a lot of trouble but we will not worry God knows why something happened like this. Prayers for you...

Heather said...

Blessings on you, dear Denise! You are such an encouragement to so many others. I pray that God brings you the encouragement that you need today. I pray that He fills you with His love and His peace.

Katy Lin :) said...

thank you for visiting me. you will be in my prayers. thank you also for being such a great example of perseverence through Christ :) *hugs*

Kristi said...

Denise,
I'm speechless. Thank you for sharing your faith and your testimony with all of us. I'm praying for you this day! Thank you for your sweet comments and for visiting my blog.

Joyfully,
Kristi

Darlene said...

Thanks for sharing with us. Your comments always bring a smile to my face. Thanks for being you!

Have a fabulous day!
Blessings,
Darlene

L.H. said...

Denise,

I PRAISE God for how he is manifesting his strength and love through your life. You have come through so much, but by His grace, you're still standing!

Lisa@BlessedwithGrace said...

May God continue to bless you and show you His grace on a daily basis. I can't imagine the rejection from an earthly father. I am so glad you have the love of your heavenly father.

Peggy said...

Denise...Love BEARS all things...
God loves you! HE will bear all, if
You just keep on keepin' it on!

LIFE certainly seems unfair and when it rains, it pours! But your sweet strength inspite of your deep pain shows that God reigns in You and HE does desire to pour back into you LIFE! Bless you for
your triumphant spirit! Stay as you are...grateful for you are great in overcoming! I pray that
you will spiral out of this and
seek help if you need it! People on the blog are praying but I pray God sends Someone to be right with you praying you through your grief, and rejection. Healing your
ills and bearing your pain! Jesus sends His Holy Spirit as Your Comforter and Great Physician! Bless you for turning the negative into the positive, because He cares and we care! Please look for a Care Bear & give 'em a HUG!

I saw in other post about your struggle with thyroid and diabetes
counts being up! Please take care and continue to eat right & rest!

I also noticed A VERSE A DAY in June! So I went to check it out!
Thanks! But TODAY'S VERSE must be for you!Claim it,it's Isaiah 53:4-6
just for YOU! How awesome is that!

Lord, right now, I claim this for Denise and I thank you for the healing being accomplished in her!
I ask You to take hold of that rollercoaster of a life and have complete control to bless Denise
and restore her feet on solid ground! Thank You for bringing encouraging words her way and people to surround her with love and care as You touch her today!

Erica said...

That truly is a lot for one person to bear. Thank you for opening up and sharing your heart in a very real way. The Lord hears you and will rush in to rescue!

becky voyles said...

You have been thru so much so be gentle with yourself. I made a sympathy card on my blog the beginning of this week and thought of you. So check it out.May it give you comfort in your loss.

Rosheeda said...

Talk about my heart? You are phenomenal! How precious to be able to still be this sure of the Lord when you have faced so much in so short a time. Good grief! I love you, girlie!

BP said...

How wonderful to read of your courage and faith. May God bless you as you keep on keeping on for Him!

A Stone Gatherer said...

Even though it's not easy God calls us to be thankful in all circumstances! You are an example of that! You are a blessing!

mama meji said...

Wow! Your message is powerful. My concerns and troubles just pale in comparison with yours and I am so amazed with your faith and strength. You are an amazing person. {{Hugs}}

Lynn said...

Wow Denise,

I don't even know what to say but that I just want to cry with you. Sometimes we an explanation about what God has going on. And it doesn't come right away.

Denise, your rich faith in the face of these overwhelming challenges is your rock. The Lord, will never leave your nor forsake you. You inspire me for the day I will walk in these kind of circumstances. Thank you for your living testimony. I love you Denise.

SharonB said...

Denise as I read your post I just wanted to reach out and give you a hug. You have been through so much and it does not surprise me that today you stand strong in knowing that God is with you. You have the unquie opportunity to understand the suffering of Christ in a way that many may not. You are His Beloved daughter and you are very precious to Him - He has not forgtten you, He has a plan and purpose for you.

eph2810 said...

Denise - to me you are the most amazing woman in bloggyland I know...You are always positive - no matter how hard life hits you...I am blessed to know you.

Thank you so much for sharing your grateful heart with us.

Be blessed today and always...

Tricia said...

Praying that you continue to keep your eyes on God, it is amazing what He does for us through the pain and hard times, thanks for sharing!

Blessings!

Cheryl said...

Denise,

My computer didn't want to cooperate with me last night. I tried leaving you a comment. So, now I'm back.

I would agree what a roller coaster ride your life has been, but you've not given up AND you are praising God!

I hope you are doing well. Praying for you and your brother's family.

Blessings!
Cheryl

Fran said...

Oh I just praise Him right now Denise!! Can you see Him so beautifully through you?? Oh, He's doing a glorious thing and I think we all just sit back and thank Him for you and what a blessing you are to us.

May He bless you in ways that only you can see and know.
Big hugs,
Fran

IRENE said...

I am so thankful for you, the dear friend that God sent on my path. Be blessed.

IRENE said...

I am so thankful for you, the dear friend that God sent on my path. Be blessed.

Christina said...

You are so strong Denise and an inspiration to me especially. I have battled depression on and off for many years and right now at the time of my mom's passing it wants to rear it's ugly head so I keep leaning on Jesus and I pray for strength for you also.

thereservoir said...

Denise you are one heck of a woman! I see in you the glory of the Lord...you have been an encouragement and an inspiration to me this year. God bless you!

Sharon

PS. Thanks for the sweet comment on my blog...you are awesome

Beth K. Vogt said...

I cannot tell you how much your post impressed me.
How it touched my heart and humbled me and encouraged me.
Bless you.
Beth@TheAccidentalPharisee

Princess said...

Thank you for a very inspiring, encouraging and uplifting post!!!
God bless you always.

Tammy said...

Praise God that you are allowing Him to use the pain in your life to change you and mold you in His image.

Lifting you up in prayer,
Tammy