Wednesday, June 25, 2008
My life has been a wild roller coaster ride for the last two years. Taking care of my momma, watching her fade away. Finding her the day the Lord took her home. Spiraling into the deep dark pit of depression after her death, becoming a cutter to ease my pain. But, God brought me out of that pit, cleaned me up, healed my wounds, and set my feet firmly on solid ground. Then, last year, my diabetes began to wage war on my body. First, it took aim at my vision, leaving me legally blind, and fighting to keep my vision. It then targeted my heart, filling it with 4 blockages. It has also damaged my stomach, and kidneys. But, God is my true physician, and watches over me daily. Then, 3 weeks ago this coming Sunday, my big brother passed away. Once again, my life started spinning out of control, filled with sadness&grief. On top of that, old wounds from my dad were opened. He once again made it very clear, that he does not accept me, or want me in his life. Throw in on top of all these events, losing my hair to thyroid disease. Do I feel like screaming? Giving up? Never getting out of bed again? Of course, those thoughts cross my mind, I am only human after all. But, I will not give up. I am very grateful for the life that God has blessed me with. He loves me, and teaches me such beautiful lessons out of all the painful times. I would not be the woman that I am, if it were not for all that I have overcome. Thank You Father God, my pain has made me stronger.