Friday, April 4, 2008

Forgiveness


Forgiveness, such a powerful word. It can have a major effect on your life. It is not always easy to forgive, pain is real, and it hurts deeply. We are to hate the sin, not the sinner. How many times in your life, have you said these words, I forgive her/him,but I will never forget what they did to me? What if God felt that way? Well, I forgive you Denise, but I will never forget your sins. Praise God, when He forgives, He also forgets. He wipes your slate clean, you are able to start over. My stepfather sexually abused me, and for years I carried around feelings of hurt, pain, and self-hatred. Why did he do this? How could he have hurt me like this? Why doesn't anybody believe me? These feelings were not hurting him at all, but they were devastating me. Carrying that heavy burden around, weakened me, and gave him all the power. He was ruling my life, because I could not let go of the pain. He passed away in 2003, but he continued to haunt me. My momma asked me to go to the funeral with her, so out of respect for her, I went. I was physically ill the entire day. I almost passed out during the burial. Afterwards, I began to have really bad nightmares about him, he was coming after me. Finally, in 2004, I asked my husband to take me to the cemetery where my stepfather is buried. I took a picture of him with me, I stood at his grave, looking at his picture. As my precious husband stood by my side, holding tightly to me, I talked to my stepfather. I cried, and I screamed. The intense pain from all the years,came pouring out of me. I told him he had no right to hurt me the way he did, that he was wrong. I said everything that I had kept bottled up inside of me for so long. The last thing I said to him, was that it is over. You no longer have power over my life, the chains are gone. I forgive you. Then, I burned his picture, and scattered the ashes over his grave. When I walked away from that grave, I was a new creation. Praise God, I am free. Thank You my Father, for showing me by Your example, how to forgive.

9 comments:

Melanie said...

You have overcome so much. You really amaze me.

Allison said...

Forgiveness is so crucial to our faith. If we don't forgive people, like you said, it literally eats at you until you become so ill that you don't know which end is up. It wasn't until I really forgave those that have hurt me that I was able to be delivered from my depression. You will never forget what people did to you, but you can forgive them, even if they dont deserve it. But praise the Lord that He forgives AND forgets!!!! AMEN TO THAT!!!!

Lisa said...

Hi Denise! Praying that you feel better!! I tagged you for a meme on my blog. If you are feeling well enough to do it, please do. If not, no problem.

Take care!
Love,
Lisa

Sharon Brumfield said...

Forgiveness is massively important.
Un forgiveness is the chain that ties you to the ungodly things people do.

It does take awhile for the pain to become not as intense--but His love can set you free.
I am glad you were able to forgive. And I am so happy that you had Eddie there to help you through the process.
Love ya girl

Marsha said...

Oh sweet thing! Tears streaming down my face. {{{hugs}}}
Thank you for sharing your past. Thank you for giving God the glory by sharing forgiveness for something so heinous. Even though I deal with women and girls who have experienced this same abuse, I never grow desensitized to the pain it causes and the prison it puts the victim in until forgiveness can put an end to it. Praise God! Your chains are gone!
I love you, dear one.

Sharon said...

You are so beautiful Denise! You share the hurts and pains, yet also share how Jesus has been with you every step of the way freeing you and helping you.

You are such an encouragement to many!

Cynthia said...

God truly guided me today to your words. Thank you dear friend for sharing.

With all our love,
Cynthia

luvmy4sons said...

I too know this pain. I am so sorry. Being able to let go of that hurt is so life transforming. I am glad that you could! I have too! AMEN!

shattuck7 said...

Your testimony of forgiveness adds confirmation to a statement I once heard. "Bitterness and unforgiveness is like you drinking the poison and expecting the other person to die." I rejoice at your freedom. Thank you for sharing such pain in such a transparent way.