"As Christians, we are called to convert our loneliness into solitude. We are called to experience our aloneness not as a wound but as a gift--as God's gift--so that in our aloneness we might discover how deeply we are loved by God."
~ Henri Nouwen ~:I have experienced alot of loneliness in my life, times when I felt like I was the only person in the entire world. I never knew what to do with my loneliness, it hurt so bad. At times, I felt like I had just experienced open heart surgery without any anesthesia, it was so painful. There were a few times I thought about ending my life, the only thing that stopped me was knowing that it was not my life to take, it was Gods life. I was not going to disrespect the giver of life, by taking my life. I finally realized, after my Momma passed away, that loneliness can be a precious gift. When I have been at my lowest, and loneliest moments, such as the times I was in the fetal position on my bathroom floor, after cutting myself, that was also when I felt closer to my Father. He held me so tightly, and rocked me like a baby, as He whispered over and over, saying , I love you, everything is going to be ok. Hold on to me, I will give you peace for your hurting heart my dear daughter. We really bonded during those times of my indescribable loneliness. So, I thank my Father for those times, because it was during those times, when He truly showed me how deeply He loves me.
~ Henri Nouwen ~:I have experienced alot of loneliness in my life, times when I felt like I was the only person in the entire world. I never knew what to do with my loneliness, it hurt so bad. At times, I felt like I had just experienced open heart surgery without any anesthesia, it was so painful. There were a few times I thought about ending my life, the only thing that stopped me was knowing that it was not my life to take, it was Gods life. I was not going to disrespect the giver of life, by taking my life. I finally realized, after my Momma passed away, that loneliness can be a precious gift. When I have been at my lowest, and loneliest moments, such as the times I was in the fetal position on my bathroom floor, after cutting myself, that was also when I felt closer to my Father. He held me so tightly, and rocked me like a baby, as He whispered over and over, saying , I love you, everything is going to be ok. Hold on to me, I will give you peace for your hurting heart my dear daughter. We really bonded during those times of my indescribable loneliness. So, I thank my Father for those times, because it was during those times, when He truly showed me how deeply He loves me.
21 comments:
Isn't it amazing how much He loves us? Just when we think no one else does, He is there.
Thanks for sharing this.
Wow, Denise - thank you for being so open and honest. I am so glad to see you find comfort in His arms.
Thanks for sharing such an open, honest piece of yourself.
((hugs)) Bless you for sharing.
[times when I felt like I was the only person in the entire world] Do you know what I learned doing my word study. That one of the word's translated lonely in the OT is the same word used to describe Isaac when he is said to be Abraham's only son. I thought unique would have been a better translation. Abraham had another son, Isaac was uniquely the son of promise... had been conceived in a unique, miraculous way.
But, when I read that... I thought of all the times when I think I must be the ONLY one to feel this way or had a similar experience. It is sometimes this perception that triggers loneliness. And, it is a lie ~
Denise, May God continue to be your strength and rock in all of life. Thanks for sharing so honestly. Blessings...
Sweet post. I'm sorry for the loss of your mother. YOu make an excellet point about God being our loving father.
Denise, it took so much courage for you to share your feelings to openly. Thanks for being willing to do that because by showing your humanity, you remind us all how alike we really are and so we are united in the Body.
What a great word picture "open heart surgery without anesthesia" I know how that "feels". Thanks for sharing! I am so glad we have a loving Heavenly Father that wraps his arms arounds us as we hurt!
How beautiful that, in your brokenness, you chose to seek Him. Not many do, I'm afraid. What a great post, Denise.
God is so good to meet us where we need Him most. It's also been true in my life that He has felt closest in the darkest times. He is faithful to His children. Blessings to you.
Thank you for sharing personally and honestly in what God has done for you, esp. in the low times of life. Beautifully shared . . .
Dear Denise,
Hugs to you my friend and thanks for sharing!
Angel ():)
I'm so glad you are here to share God's word...
blessings oh sweet one
love you
How very honest and true. Thank you for sharing & I am so very glad that it was used for good - drawing closer to God
Denise, there have been times when I have felt like I was the only one in the world also. But, like you I called on Jesus. Isn't it awesome that he's always there for us?
Wow! You have really been through the fire. Thank God you are becoming as refined gold! Thank you for opening your heart so honestly. And, thanks for visiting my site.
Amen my friend...isn't it awesome how faithful God is when we feel like we are the only one in the world who understands what we are going through...Love you my friend!
Such a beautiful post. Wow! This is so powerful, Denise.
Gof bless you.
Bonnie
It is only His love that can reach into the depths of our heart to heal our pain and suffering. Truly, He is the Great Physician! Let the healing power of Christ continue in restoring and healing your life Denise. He shall receive all the glory. Alleluia!
Heavenly Voice
"knowing that it was not my life to take..."
Allowing God to speak to you even in the midst of such pain is a testimony to your faith and God's faithfulness. Thanks for posting this, Denise.
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