Monday, June 17, 2013
I will survive
Hello sweet friends, praying that you are all doing well. I have missed you all very much. Have been so very sick since last weekend. Stomach pains, diarrhea, cramping, throwing up, nausea, headaches, tired, weak. Needless to say, was still unable to have x-rays taken. Praying to be ale to get those done this week. I have an immediate prayer need my friends. My marriage is in need of 911 repair. I do not know what to do to help my husband anymore. I thought things were back on track, but he sure fooled me. Things are worse than ever now. Does he physically abuse me?? No, never. But, he verbally, emotionally, spiritually, and mentally, abuses me. I am constantly yelled at, cursed at, made to feel totally worthless. This has been going on every since I had my stroke back in September 2011. I am treated like a mentally ill child, or worse. I cannot do anything right, or anything to please him. In his eyes, I am stupid. I cannot drive, due to being legally blind. He uses that to his advantage, I am definitely under his thumb. He does not want to go to church, so I do not get to go. Because he does not want me to go without him. He cares nothing about having friends, so he does not want me to have friends. The only place I get to go is here at our apartment, grocery shopping on the weekend, to Walgreen's to pick up our medicines, and to a fast food restaurant when he wants to go. I asked him to take me to the emergency room this weekend, he told me to shut-up, and go to hell. Well, guess what?? I am not letting satan take my marriage. I love my husband, and have for 28 years. I refuse to give up, or give in without a fight. I am putting on the full armour of God, getting fueled up with prayers. Knock, knock, knocking on heavens door. My marriage is in God's totally capable hands, He will not let my marriage fall apart. So, let the battle rage on, I am prepared to fight. I refuse to be a victim, victory can, and will be mine!!